I have been so self absorbed recently, seeking to find happiness and fulfilment. Then knowing how Sir's departure would make me feel I went off to France and while I did fun things and house maintenance that needed doing I was just thinking of myself.
But now I am feeling guilty. My dad is really unwell and my departure left them alone - one brother on a trip to Mexico and the other working - and they had to manage some really terrible difficulties with his health.
What kind of daughter am I? How can I call myself a nurse? How can I treat my own family in this way.
This has got to stop. I must get a grip and if that means leaving Sir and my submission behind for a while that is what will have to happen.
It might be my lack of a night's sleep speaking - don't you just hate the feeling that you have had a lovely deep sleep to find the clock has moved about 20 minutes since the last time you looked.
But I know I must concentrate on some very important things right now. This illness is going to take my dad from us and I really do need to sort out my priorities.