Questions

I found a new blogger via Abby, today. Ok so I am late to Han Van Meegeren's party, but better late than never.

These questions have appeared on his site, and been answered by Abby and others. Here goes:

• Kissed a girl? Once, in a kissing a girl sense. Lots of times in a kissing your friends and family kind of way
• Kissed a boy? Oh yes
• Had sex in public? In a place that is public, but not in public.
• What's your religion? Officially Church of England, but I like the spirituality side of things and the music rather than religion itself.
• What does your URL mean? Joolz was a name I was given when I was younger, and when thinking about this blog and a new kind of lifestyle it seemed right. Now though, I am not sure it quite fits. But it is what my blog is called.
• Reason you joined blogland? I have blogged for years. Firstly about work and life generally and then here. My blogs have always been about me being able to express myself. A way of recording my thoughts and feelings. 
• Do you have any nicknames? Jools / Joolz when younger and recently to some people. Master calls me girl (is that a nickname, or just His name for me?)
• Do you like bubble bath? Yes, very much. I don't have a bath often these days, as a shower is quick and convenient. Now a bubble bath is a luxury!
• Kissed in the rain? Oh yes
• Dyed your hair? I have been doing just that while writing this. A good point to go wash it off!

So, several hours have gone by and on with the questions:

• Soup of salad? Soup in winter, preferably home made, the rest of the time, salad
• Vegetable or meat? I love vegetables, but couldn't give up meat...
• Go out drinking? Mainly when having dinner, but since I met Master, I have been out to more bars and pubs than for a long time.
• Smoke cigarettes? Never
• Smoke weed? I have lived a sheltered life
• Do any hard drugs? I am no good with prescription drugs so I doubt I could handle anything recreational
• Have you had sex today? No, sadly.....
• Have you ever fallen asleep in someone's arms? Yes, quite a few times lately.
• The relationship between you and the person you last texted? He is my Master.
• Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes? Yes, actually they have. 
• Skipped homework to play a video game? Occasionally....
• Tried to commit suicide? No 
• The last time you felt broken? Last year, July....
• Had to lie to EVERYONE abut how you felt? Yes, last July...
• Do you have a boyfriend / girlfriend? Boy....well more a man to be frank.....
• Do you have long hair or short? Shorter than it was, and I like it.
• First thing you notice in a girl? Her sense of dress
• Do you sing in the shower? Sometimes, but Master would win on that one!
• Do you dance in the car? Only when alone
• Where were you yesterday? Woke up with Master, spent the afternoon with my parents and slept alone at home.
• Ever used a bow and arrow? Tried once when a child, I was rubbish!
• Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? Probably at one of my brothers' weddings. Does that count. If wedding photos don't count then when I was at school!
• Do you think musicals are cheesy? No, and I saw one on Saturday which was fantastic - Guys and Dolls!
• Is Christmas stressful? Yes when my mother is involved!
• Favourite type of fruit pie? Apple
• Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? A nurse and I became one.
• Do you believe in ghosts? Kind of
• Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? Yes, definitely.
• Take a vitamin daily? No time for that kind of thing. Fresh fruit, veg etc is better.
• Wear slippers? In winter. Otherwise bare feet.
• Wear a bath robe? Sometimes.
• What do you wear to bed? Nothing.
• Do you want to get married? Still legally married and no thanks, never again.
• Can you curl your tongue? Yes
• How many relationships have you had? Three
• How can I win your heart? You can't, I am happy as I am for now.
• What makes a great relationship? Communication, trust and honesty. That and the ability to laugh and not take yourselves too seriously.
• Shy or open? Shy with new people and strangers, but extroverted with people I know. Having said that, very few know the real me.
• Religious or non-religious? I am not religious.

TMI Tuesday - Some things to think about

This is the first time I have joined in with TMI Tuesday, but in the absence of anything particular to write about and because it might be fun, here goes:

1. Name something you always carry with you?

That would probably be my iPhone. I recently got an upgrade from my old fashioned 3s and now have a 5s. I love it, and probably fiddle with it too much during any given day. 

I also like to have a note book and pen and now I commute, a book to read.

2. Is there anyone on your mind at the moment? Who? Why?

Master is pretty much constantly on my mind right now, but then why wouldn't He be? I am also giving quite a bit of thought to the other person in His life. 

3. If you were to be remembered for one thing, what would it be?

For my caring nature, I hope. I would hate all of the effort I have gone to in loving, nurturing and caring would be wasted.

4. Tell us something new that you learned in the last month?

That I could never be involved in a truly long distance relationship. I would hate the difficulties with time differences and couldn't cope without the physical interactions of a real time relationship. 

5. What are you pretending not to know? Why?

That the final break with hubby will be incredibly painful. Despite everything that has happened and the knowledge of what needs to happen in the future, the day we go our separate ways physically will be sad. But for my own happiness I know in my heart I am doing the right thing.

6. Are you happy with other people’s perception of you?

Increasingly, yes I am. That is because perception and reality are beginning to merge.

7. Are you generally focused on today or tomorrow?

I would like to say today since part of what I promise Master is to focus and especially to focus on my working day. But He and I are off to Lisbon on Sunday and I would rather focus on that. 

Bonus:  How do you eat Oreos? Which method best matches your Oreo cookie eating style?

a. Pick it up, bite into it.

b. Twist it open, eat each half separately

c. Twist it open, eat the frosting, then eat each chocolate cookie half separately.

Oreos are not something I eat often. I try to keep away from such things as I am always watching my weight. But when I have eaten them it would need to be c. Twist it open, eat the frosting, then eat each chocolate half separately. You have to savour a treat don't you?————

How to play TMI Tuesday: Copy the above TMI Tuesday questions to your webspace (i.e., a blog). Answer the questions there, then leave a comment below, on this blog post, so we’ll all know where to read your responses. Please don’t forget to link totmituesdayblog from your website!

Happy TMI Tuesday!

Blog Tour

i so love the idea of a blog tour,  a chance to show people around here and then to point them in the direction of more blogs - those that have nominated and others that i love to read.

Personally i like to think of us in the dream machine (though it actually seems to be called the mystery machine), with shaggy and scooby-doo and that blond guy, but that's another story. Personally i am more velma than the good looking slim one, but then no doubt velma is the interesting one!

i was invited on this tour by my good friend destiny, her blog Reclaiming "destiny" is just a few weeks old, but already she has shown she has some profound things to say about her thoughts and feelings about her Master and her position as slave to Him. Secondly i was nominated by BetsyT, her blog My life as a sexually submissive woman speaks to me in a many ways.

I recommend both blogs to anyone who doesn't already visit regularly and read their regular posts.

What is behind this Blog Tour?
It's pretty simple. Answer the 4 questions about yourself and post the answers on your blog page and then invite a few other bloggers that you admire to join in on the fun and include links to their blogs on their page.

What am i working on at the moment?
It is only a week ago that i accepted my Master's offer to become his slave. He is currently away so there is lots to be worked on here. Once He gets back in a week or so, i am sure that i will be given much to consider. But already i am thinking about how i give myself to Him completely and allow Him to take complete control of me. 

What is more, this is a polyamorous relationship, so there is much to be worked on there. This will be ongoing for some time to come.

Why do i write what i do?

First and foremost i write for myself. To better understand myself and how i feel about situations. This is my submissive journey and a way to document my progress. I am going through some significant life changes, so again i write to allow reflection on that process. More recently i write to allow my thoughts to come to Master's attention so that He and i can consider and discuss them in a safe place. Finally I do occasionally write so that others can find out something about me. Such as this tour. 

How does the process work?

Usually i consider themes or titles during the course of the day, whether when at work, commuting or lying in bed. Then i often begin to construct sections in my head, though that often changes. Sometimes though I have something burning inside me, I sit down and just write.

Usually i write what comes to mind, then spend some time editing and publish. Then i go back and re-edit any typos etc.

Only once have i sent my post to another - this weekend, i consulted with Master about yesterday's post but only so i could be sure i had the right balance. This is a place where what i write are my own thoughts and nothing written here can ever be a source of punishment. Occasionally I start a post and finish later, but more often than not i write quickly since as mentioned the words are already there to flow.

3 bloggers to invite along that i admire, read and identify personally with:

My lovely friend "pig" (as lovingly described by her Master) from Thoughts from His Slut

abby from Finally finding me

little from willing slut

Meme of 2013

Got this from both Abby at Finally finding me and Fiona from Sir Q and me:

1. What did you do in 2013 that you’d never done before?

    I Was made redundant - it opened up a host of possibilities though 

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year? 

    No, I weigh more not less than this time last year. Trying again though

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? 

    No, but my niece has just announced she is expecting a baby this year.

4. Did anyone close to you die?  

    No thankfully.

5. What countries did you visit? 

    France and Italy - both beautiful

6. What would you like to have in 2014 that you lacked in 2013? 

   The confidence to do what I know I must

7. What dates from 2013 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? 

    31st March when I was made redundant and August 1st when I became the owner of a french apartment 

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? 

    Staying sane while everything around me seemed to go wrong

9. What was your biggest failure?

   To resolve the issues with my hubby

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

   No I have remained healthy, thankfully

11. What was the best thing you bought? 

    My lovely new kitchen

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?

   My son graduated with a first class honours degree. He has been a complete star this year

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? 

    Hubby's - he is self absorbed and childish for too much of the time

14. Where did most of your money go?

    The kitchen - worth it though!

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? 

   Seeing Robbie Williams at Wembley, my new car and the kitchen 

16. What song will always remind you of 2013?

    Probably The Cave, Mumford and Sons - I played both their albums a lot when I drove to visit S this year.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you: a) happier or sadder? 

   Happier - no redundancy hanging over me and I am clearer about what I want - just got to work out how to get it

18. What do you wish you’d done more of? 

    Been able to see S

19. What do you wish you’d done less of? 

    Worried about the state of my marriage

20. How did you spend Christmas? 

    With my parents and son

21. Did you fall in love in 2013? 

  No, but I loved and was loved

22. What was your favorite TV program?

   I haven't watched masses of TV this year, but enjoyed Broadchurch, a murder mystery series set in a beautiful part of England

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year? 

    I don't really hate anyone

24. What was the best book you read?

    I have read lots of books this year, more time, more travel etc. A favourite would be The woman he loved before by Dorothy Koomson, a great novel and also A journey from lost to found by Cheryl Strayed about walking the pacific crest trail

25. What was your greatest musical discovery? 

  Nothing particular this year

26. What did you want and get? 

  A new kitchen :) 

27. What did you want and not get? 

  A job at the beginning of the year; I have one now though

28. What was your favorite film of this year? 

   I really enjoyed Lincoln

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? 

  I went out for a meal in France, I was and still am 51

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?

  Spending more time with S  

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2013?

  Improved - I have a bit more money now

32. What kept you sane? 

   Friends

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? 

   Can't say I did

34. What political issue stirred you the most?

  I am just irritated by this governments inability to understand how real people have to live  

35. Who did you miss? 

   S, particularly for a difficult month around July / August when we weren't together 

36. Who was the best new person you met?   

  My new boss probably  

37. What is a valuable lesson you learned in 2013?  

  To believe in yourself and in your decisions

A meme from Hermione via Abby before I leave for 2 weeks R&R

Tomorrow I am off to France. I am staying in a town I know, in a holiday home I have been to with hubby (and with my son and nephew). We have had lots of holidays there, but this will be different. This time I am going on my own, and though I have a girlfriend joining me for a few days, mostly it will be just me. I have my friends and their family their to have fun with, but this will give me time and space. Hopefully the weather will be kind, I will be able to swim, walk, cycle, sunbathe, eat, drink and just be, in a safe place where I can think.

Meantime, I leave you with this meme that I got from Abby and she got from Hermione. I will post over the next couple of weeks if wifi permits, otherwise I am back on 15th June. 

1. When you looked at yourself in the mirror this morning, what was the first thing you  thought.  Ok so your got your hair cut, but make sure you pack the colour as you haven't had time for that yet!
2. How much cash do you have on you? I have been to the cash machine / ATM and have £50, £10 of which is for the window cleaner who came today! 

 3.Name a word that rhymes with door? More, as in I need more of Sir!)

 4.Name your favorite planet? I'm with abby on this, Earth of course! 

 5.Do you own more than 100 cd’s?  There are hundreds of CDs in this house; to have is to hold as it were....

 6.Have you ever finished a bag of popcorn and ate the junk from the bottom?  I rarely eat popcorn, but Sir has a popcorn making pan and when with him we ate it all, there was no junk at the bottom! 

 7.What kind of top are you wearing?  Something I don't want to take on holiday, white with brown and grey leave, it looks better than it sounds! 

 8.Have you ever labeled yourself? I believe I allow myself to be used by those close to me; submission would be a better option!

 9.Name the brand of shoes you are currently wearing? I don't wear shoes around the house

10.Bright or dark room? Brightish, you have to be able to see!

 11 .Have you ever been pooped on from the sky?  No, but hubby received one once when we were queuing to get into a theatre!

 12.What does your watch look like?  It has a white metal strap and square face, I like it a lot

 13.What were you doing at midnight last nite?  I was discussing future options with hubby, sadly no resolution as yet.

14. Have you ever dated someone a decade older than you?  no
15. Have you ever listened to a song and cried? Yes, more often recently, I am getting emotional in my old age!
16. Who last told you he/she loved you? hubby, he told me this afternoon - rhetoric / reality springs to mind though!
17. What was the last furry thing you touched? There are a number of cuddly toys in the spare room, they belonged to my son when he was little. I touched the teddy yesterday. I wonder what to do with them?
18. How many drugs have you taken within the last three days? I have taken no drugs other than the gin and tonic I had tonight! 
19. Favorite age so far? This one probably. Even though it is scary to be in this position, I am having the best time! 
20. Have you ever had a secret crush on a teacher?  Not that I remember, no  
21. What was the last thing you said to someone? Try him on his mobile! Someone ringing to speak to hubby! 
22. Have you ever been found sleep walking?  no
23. What was the last song you sang? Can't remember, but sang along to song on radio on way home this afternoon.
24. What’s your favorite number? Would it be terrible to say I don't have one, though prefer odd numbers!
25. Where did you live in 1987? In the town in which I now live - been here since 1984.
26. What do you do when the vending machines eats your money? swear, kick it and probably walk away! 
27. Do you kiss with your eyes open or closed? closed, but usually sneak a peek!
28. What was the last song you heard?  The same one above that I sang along to.
29. If you could be fluent in any other language, what would it be?  French as I go there lots. 
30. Have you ever seen a ghost? No, but I would like to!
31. When was the last time you ever wrote a letter to someone and mailed it? Can't remember, but should do that soon! 
32. Can you change the oil in a car? Isn't that what men are for?
33. How far back do you know about your ancestry?  3 or 4 generations, we are from the working classes.
34. When showering do you start the water and then get it, or get in and then start the water? I don't get in until the water is the right temperature
35. Have you ever crashed a car? Nothing serious but yes 
36. Does every family have a crazy relative? I have several, so yes!
37. Have you ever sent or made a crank call? No
38. How old do you look? Hard to say, but hopefully not as old as I am (stole the answer from Abby)
39. Should guys wear pink?  Men look good in pink so why not?
40. Have you ever done anything for which you could be arrested?  no

What kind of submissive am I?

I got the link to this OK Cupid submissive type test from L at Willing Slut and seem to have come out as a Servant. Interestingly this is not how I see myself and it is really not how my Sir sees me since I have only cooked for hims twice and the most house work I have done is to wash up after us. But I have spent a large proportion of my life acting as something of a servant to hubby and others. I have this desire to do things for people, to make things right and to keep people happy. 
I would like to be more of a submissive, to spend more of my time devoting myself to His needs but given the circumstances within which we live, I suppose I have to be grateful for what we have now. 

Servant

You scored 53% Humiliation, 39% Submissiveness, 62% Service, and 46% Pain!

You're the Servant, what you seek most is to serve someone, give them the opportunity to live like kings/queens. You'd like to be able to do everything for them, household maintainance, errands and probably serve them sexually, you don't have too much high of a need to feel submissive, you don't need to feel like you're "used", you just enjoy in the pleasure of your Dom.
People like you usually seek long term relationships in which you can fully show the way you serve your Dom, although being allowed to come over to your Dom's house to fix dinner and clean the house would probably put a smile on your face.
Yor association with pain or humiliation can be from none to wholesome, you may find it fun, or not, just check out your scores in those :) 

Your Analysis (Vertical line = Average)

• 
  You scored 53% on Humiliation, higher than 76% of your peers.
• 
  You scored 39% onSubmissiveness, higher than 15% of your peers.
• 
  You scored 62% on Service, higher than 49% of your peers.
• 
  You scored 46% on Pain, higher than 43% of your peers.

Three Word Meme

Quite a few people have answered this today; so my turn!

1. Where is your cell phone? In my bag
2. Boyfriend/girlfriend? it is complicated
3. Hair? Grey but dyed 
4. Your mother? Not the same
5. Your father? Living with Cancer
6. Your favorite item(s)? love my mac
7. Your dream last night? don't  remember one
8. Your favorite drink? Gin and tonic
9. Your dream guy/girl? Sir of course
10. The room you are in? The living room
11. Your fear? my parents deaths
12. What do you want to be in 10 years? Happy and fulfilled
13. Who did you hang out with last night? no one, alone
14. What are you not? quiet, introverted, slim
15. What's outside your window? My dark garden
16. One of your wish list items? A new kitchen
17. What time is it? Quarter past eight
18. The last thing you did? cooked my dinner
19. What are you wearing? jeans and shirt
20. Your favorite book? i love loads
21. The last thing you ate? pasta with bacon
22. Your life? Not as expected
23. Your mood? Gin helps chilling
24. Your car? Old Renault Clio
25. What are you doing at this moment? Watching the Voice
26. Your summer? Hoping for one
27. Travel plans? France in June
28. What is on your TV screen? Its the Voice
29. Last time you cried? About a week
30. School? I love learning

Yes or No

I am rather late to this, having seen it on Aisha, PK, Sin, and Fondles' blog. Decided to give it a go.

There are only two rules: You must answer yes or no. You may not explain unless someone asks. 

Taken a picture naked? Yes
Made money illegally? No
Had a one night stand? No
Been in a fist fight? Yes
Slept with your best friend? No
Had sex in a public place? Yes
Ditched work to have sex? Yes
Slept with a member of the same sex? No
Seen someone die? Yes
Ran from the police? No
Woke up somewhere and not remember how you got there? No
Worn your partners unmentionables?No
Fallen asleep at work? Yes
Used toys in the bedroom? Yes
Ran a red light? No
Been fired? No
Been in a car accident? No
Pole danced or done a striptease? No
Loved someone you shouldn’t? Yes
Sang karaoke?Yes
Done something you told yourself you wouldn’t? Yes
Laughed so hard you peed your pants? No
Caught someone having sex? No
Kissed a perfect stranger?Yes
Shaved your partner? No
Given your private parts a nickname? No
Ever gone in public without underwear? Yes
Had sex on a roof top? No
Played chicken?Yes
Mooned/flashed someone?Yes
Do you sleep naked? Yes
Blacked out from drinking? No
Felt like killing someone? Yes
Had sex more than 5 times in one day?Yes
Been with someone because they were in a band? No
Taken 10 shots of liquor in a day?Yes
Shot a gun? No
Gone outside naked? Yes