A couple of weeks ago i received a lovely email on alt.com. This was a bit different from the usual I am a Dom and can train you to be a complete slut kind of mail. The person sending it had obviously read the few details contained within my profile and told me a little about Himself. I was intrigued, and replied.
Many days, maybe a week went by, and in the mean time i have hooked up (in the ways previously described) with (to coin a phrase used by little) a local Dom. On Sunday evening i received an email back, suggesting a yahoo chat on Monday evening.
So on Monday as i logged on, i saw that He had left me a yahoo message asking if i was online. We then spent a good hour and a half chatting. During this time, i cooked and ate dinner and managed to answer some quite detailed questions.
In essence i was interviewed. There is no other word for it. Things started generally, He gave little away, apart from a few reasonably personal details, the rest was about me. However and this is quite strange, i divulged a lot about me - not things like my name, address that kind of thing, more like the deep details of my marriage, D/s experience, stuff with S and then i found myself describing to this stranger my thoughts about what i want from a future relationship. In his replies he used lower case to describe me or refer to me, and capitals for Himself - like i have just done. His sentences were well crafted and punctuation (apart from technically having his capitals all over the place) impeccable.
At the end He told me that i could consider Him pleased with me and my answers and wondered if we should meet for coffee. What harm can there be in that? After all he is very intriguing in a very Domly (if that's a word) and quite powerful way. i am to await an email - of course i am still waiting. Even if this all comes to nothing, coffee with this Gentleman will be interesting.
Last evening hubby was home for his, what seems to have become regular, couple of nights a week spent lounging on the sofa. This was the first time I had seen him for more than a few minutes since Thursday. It is interesting to see how well he settles back into his routine - me running round doing dinner, transporting a young adult to his football match, rushing out to get bread and him stretching out on the sofa. How, i wonder did my life, all be it much less of it before, get like this. Lets hope I summon the strength soon to reveal my true feelings to him once and for all. I am not sure, given everything else that is going on right now, that I can cope with this kind of thing much longer.
The trouble is, I don't actually like confrontation. I like to keep things calm and steady. I don't like causing pain and hurt, but of course while I seek to protect the needs of others I end up really unhappy and frustrated. I know this was never meant to be easy, but it is way harder than I ever imagined.