This has been a real summer of fun for me. Ever since those first online chats with Sir, where we flirted, played out a fantasy scene and then carried things on by phone, i have had the best time. Our real life relationship has mainly been about my learning to submit while enjoying some fabulous and wonderfully kinky sex.
Tori's post today on her blog Pain's Pleasure got me thinking about myself and TTWD (as Fondles would call it), and those who live the lifestyle full time. It got me wondering if any of us really think that this is just for fun; something that is just a game.
When i am with Sir, i have chosen to arrive at the place we have decided to meet at the given time. I have done this in the knowledge that there are expectations placed upon me that have been discussed in advance. i submit to those willingly since this is a consentual arrangement. Sir is not big on punishment, but at the same time i am never sure whether i might be spanked, clamped or restrained. i never know where Sir is going to chose to put his cock next. i relax into the submission, i am compliant, i submit to humiliation; to situations that wouldn't normally be part of what i would do.
I can always choose what i want to do, but everything i do has consequences.
My home life is quite different, and yet within it i also submit. This submission is more domestic in nature. i shop, cook, clean, wait on and clear up. i have made choices in my life that have led to this position. Those choices though have had consequences. i am still married, but the life i lead is not particularly fulfilling. To a certain extent i do as i wish, but at the same time i am always thinking about what the consequences will be. No one here will spank me, call me a slut or a whore, or expect me to kneel down before them. But that does not mean that i don't consider what i do and the consequences of my actions.
I have come to realise that real life is not a game, it is not a dress rehearsal it is real and it has consequences.
On Monday, i will meet up with Sir. We will have fun, we will have a good time (i hope). The scenes we are planning in public places have potential consequences both in the moment and in the longer term. Failure to submit, if i choose has consequences as does the decision i make to be the slut he desires.
The tales i have had to spin at home have consequences, but actually i do need fun and games in my life. BUT i always know that everything i do is not without its potential consequences.
Good post and one i think summed up better than my attempt lol...i do tend to ramble my thoughts down.
ReplyDeleteI think rather than perhaps seeing it as a game or just fun (which on my part was probably not the best desciption) its that there are varying degrees within ttwd.
For some because of their circumstances they are not able to be 24/7, for some its soley restricted to the bedroom regardless of circumstances i dont believe it makes anyone less or more submissive than anyone else or indeed any way better than another.
I think ttwd as a label is all well and good but i also think too generic....how to explain it better
If i say i practice ttwd that tells you that to some extent i engage in kink but with all the different types of kinks and dynamics out there it isnt specific.
However if i say im a slave in an M/s tpe (total power exchange) dynamic that gives a more clearer picture of my relationship and its very different from those who practice domestic discipline for example....yet they all come under the umbrella of ttwd.
Hope that makes sense, im attempting to make a clearer blog post myself..although dont hold me to that lol
x
Hi tori,
ReplyDeleteI think that between us we can probably sum it up pretty well. The biggest learning curve for me in this is the whole range of ways in which people live their lives but can still say that they are part of the whole TTWD lifestyle.
All our lives are different, however we all have to exercise choice and face the consequences (whatever that might be).
xx
I've often asked myself as well. i know i want it to be 24/7. and i suppose i DO. but mostly the submission is most actively seen in the bedroom. that doesn't mean that things which we work on like not smoking, and behaving appropriately and not using sex / physical attributes as a weapon with other men gets left behind outside of the bedroom. in fact, it cannot be. so i would say the mindset is constant. the display, perhaps, is confined to the bedroom. But in all matters agreed upon I consider BIKSS master. Even in instances pertaining to topics /areas that we've specifically left out of his jurisdiction- i find myself getting his input, his advice, and asking what his opinions are. In those things, I do not necessarily give him power to make decisions, but his thoughts are still sought.
ReplyDeleteI agree the mindset is constant even if you are not part of a 24/7 relationship and perhaps that is because of the nature of submission and the levels of trust involved here. If you trust someone enough to spank you, to restrain you and whatever else it is you do in the bedroom, then it is not unnatural to seek advice from him on other matters.
DeleteThanks for your thoughts :)
Yes, life is not a game. It's very serious. With lots of potential consequences. I've always lived my life as safely as possible.
ReplyDeleteAs for my relationship with Master, sometimes it's role-playing, but there are ways that it's not. Our relationship has certain parameters, within which it can exist, but not outside them. Being spanked and peed on isn't a requirement, but pleasing him is.