Wednesday 29 August 2012

30 Days of Submission - Day 2

i had written day one yesterday before i realised i had said too much about my submission for the question and that i was actually answering day 2's question as well. Also i have written quite a lot about this specific question recently. Lets see then if i can come up with something different from before.  So here goes:

Describe who you might submit to and how. Are you exclusively submissive in marriage or just in the bedroom? Are you submissive only in the context of a scene or in a role or throughout your daily life? Are you submissive to play partners or only in the context of a relationship?

My marriage is not about dominance and submission, however i probably submit to a certain amount of domestic discipline since i pretty much do everything and hubby does nothing. He doesn't always ask for things but tells and for a reason best known to myself (or until recently not known) i just do it. For years i fought against what i saw as laziness and i ranted and i raved. i have been married for a very long time, and have only ever lived with him and i don't generally do that any more. i accept this is how things are and just do it. i am not sure if this is submission at all, but i suspect it demonstrates i had submissive tendencies all along. 

With Sir, as i have said here, and before, i am naturally submissive. Much of the time we are together, as there is not nearly enough of it, is one one long scene with interludes for food, a walk or to sleep. We slip in and out of the Dom/sub roles during that time, but it is never far away. The beauty of this is that there is the anticipation that something could be about to happen. We could be eating some lunch, chatting about our children or about something inane and then he will say: i think you should get changed into this outfit, go and get changed.  And i do. Increasingly i love to submit to him, i love to kneel before him when i arrive to see him, to feel the collar around my neck, to feel his hands reclaiming what is his. i love the things he says to me to claim me: you are mine slut, ready for me to do with as i wish. 

I never would have imagined that i would want to do this given that i have felt like something of a door mat for years. But this is definitely very different. Sir hates me to wait on him in say the kitchen, he doesn't want me making him tea (though no doubt at some time i will), and he doesn't want me cleaning up after him (yipee). But he does want me to remember that when we are together i am there to submit to him when he wants, where he wants and how he wants. This can be thrilling, painful or humiliating (or all three) often too it is extremely erotic and i am learning to love it.

2 comments:

  1. I find myself pulling away from d/s, I have no idea if I'll ever get pulled back in, so I don't know how much I will be able to comment here. Having said that though, it sounds like you have a very lovely relationship with your Sir.

    xo mina

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  2. Thank you mina and welcome. Is pulling away from d/s part of a evolutionary process do you think?

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