Updating 'my journey' page this morning and thinking about how far i have come since April. i was wondering if the changes in me are hidden from those close to me, or if they can see that i am different.
i suspect i am not overtly different. i continue to do my job, to apply my high standards to the work i do there. i chat to my colleagues at work, discuss all of the same things that were discussed before, but i don't think they would guess there is something new going on in my life. Unless of course they can see that i am happier, more fulfilled.
My family notices nothing i am pretty sure. i am still the wife, cooking and cleaning, doing the housework, shopping, keeping things clean and reasonably tidy. If hubby thinks there is anything strange in some of my later nights out or away he has said nothing. He hasn't altered his behaviours, hasn't become more helpful at home, hasn't sought out my body. If he notices that my pussy is being kept pretty much shaved the whole times he hasn't said so, even though he used to suggest such a thing in the past.
i realised today that i have changed in my choice of the clothes i wear each day. Even when i am not going to be seeing Sir (and that is most days) i want to wear clothes that i think he would like. Even for summer i have worn skirts and dresses more than usual (particularly as it hasn't been the best of summers weather wise). i always avoided stockings, particularly those requiring suspender belts, but now i find that my underwear draw contains a whole range of them. i find myself in different shops, looking at the underwear and imagining Sir's hands on me as i wear them.
Then there is the issue of the pierced nipples. i really want to get this done and know where i will go for the piercing. i am just nervous of the conversation with hubby and am almost minded just to wait until winter and get it done without telling him. Then to wait and see how long before he notices. I have breast screening coming up soon ( oh the joys of being this lovely age) and after that i will give it some serious thought.
So even if those around me think i am the same person i was in April, the experiences i have had, the amount of time i have spent considering my new role with Sir, means that i believe i have changed. Those changes may be mainly internal, but one thing is for sure i feel a whole lot better about myself and i have someone who appreciates those changes. For that i am grateful.