Tuesday, 4 March 2014

orgasm control

i have willingly given up control of my orgasms.

Able to choose for myself, given free rein and feeling a little horny. If i was in the right place at the right time, i would usually go for it. Hell it is an extremely pleasant experience and what girl would turn it down? Especially if there were someone there to both offer and give.

Over the past weeks, since i gave up that control I have been offered orgasms which i have not taken up.

i am quite able to say no because under a more controlled existence orgasm is actually more pleasant. In the past, with no one to know or care i have used a vibe to give myself orgasm after orgasm without truly being fulfilled. Indeed self control is better - when seeing S, i often went a week or 2 after we had been together. The end result being far preferable and that without much if anything of control from him.

Today my orgasms are not only controlled but belong to another. Indeed, i am happy to rephrase and say: girls orgasms are controlled and owned by Graeme.

But mostly i don't want or need them when he is not there.

The orgasm control we have been exploring when we are together is more that since he owns them he can dictate when i have them. I have to say that is beyond weird.  Though wonderful.

To begin with every time i felt in needed to cum he asked if that was what i needed and generally he would tell me to cum. Even if sometimes it meant holding back a little. This weekend as soon as i have either asked or he has sensed the need in me he has told me to come. Providing me with some assistance with his hands, on the clit, nipples and by stroking me more generally. Suddenly though, i found myself cumming, after he told me to cum, but with no additional stimulation. He was very satisfied with his work and i was both fulfilled and a little spooked. There is no doubt my orgasms with Graeme are heavily psychologically overlaid, indeed his ability to turn me on is. The way in which he can say certain things to me - call me girl or say something suggestive - releases the feeling in me that i am not far off. Then i am just a short journey to giving him what he wants.

He bought me a lovely present, which he gave me at the weekend and i have worn for the past two nights. He said (i think and hope) that i can give him an orgasm if i need to when wearing it. This morning i did. It is a while since i wore a but plug for any length of time and then it was more a training tool. Plus a stainless steel plug is a special thing, a thing of beauty. Wearing it makes me horny, as we both knew it would. Last night particularly i spent in a state of semi arousal all night. This morning as i lay thinking of him telling me to cum i almost, had the feeling i could have. Indeed it took just a short burst with the rabbit inside me to have the desired effect.

i am left thinking about self masturbation in a different way. Giving an orgasm to another, even when they are not there is really special and something i am starting to love.


  1. oh my very nice..this is little hot!

    1. thanks L, yes it certainly is :)

  2. I so get you on this, Master owns my orgasms also, and it does make them.....more powerful, sweeter, precious. Yesterday He told me to cum on the count of 10...i did on 10.....i am still surprised that it happens. Great post.
    hugs abby

  3. Not to be a downer because its great that you are enjoying yourself so much and should continue to do so. However your post reminds me of a writing I recently read on Fetlife from a Domme. She talked about how so many people do orgasm control these days but it can be very damaging for the sub if the relationship ends and the Dom does not take the time to reverse the learned psychological behavior of the orgasm control. She pointed out that many relationships dont end on good terms and therefore the Dom feels no need to undo what they have done or even if someone was to pass away unexpectedly that the sub is left with this trained response and no one to trigger it since the Dom is no longer around. I wish I had a link to the writing since it was very informative and well done. Orgasm control is classical conditioning, such as pavlovs dogs and once done can be hard to undo and much harder if the person who did it is not the one attempting to undo it. Perhaps you should do some reading on the possible repercussions just to keep yourself well informed and ensure that you are playing safely and not causing any long term issues. At the very least you may find some suggestions of ways to undo the conditioning if and when the time for that may arise. Good luck and I hope you continue to have fun and enjoy yourself on this journey.

    https://fetlife.com/groups/575/group_posts/630352 This link is not the writing I was referring to but does have a little to say about the responsibility of the parties involved in this type of activity.

    1. Welcome anon.

      As far as i can see orgasms are a combination of a physiological response to a stimulus, coupled with a psychological response depending on certain conditions. Generally if you apply stimulus to a woman's clitoris, say with a hitachi then nothing will stop it, even if someone says it shouldn't happen. Equally if a woman is cold, frightened, in pain then the emotional and psychological circumstances won't be right.

      For these reasons i think that i am responding as i do because i trust my Dom, am in the right place with him and am often aroused physically or psychologically. I have also given him control in a consensual way.

      If i find myself on my own any time in the future there is no doubt a rabbit will do the trick. I am a woman of over 50 and know my own body.

      Thanks though for your thoughts