Saturday, 27 October 2012
The Pleasure of Submission
Of all of the aspects of this whole TTWD 'thing' it is the submission that has brought me the most pleasure. It is submitting to Him that makes me who i feel i am now in comparison to who i was in say April or May this year. On the outside, in my daily life of course i am no different, no more or less submissive. The only way i am different is how i feel inside. How i feel about me and about the things we do together. i take pleasure in some of the symbols of submission that i go through; as i have said before, i prepare my body, i arrive and kneel, i suck his cock, he puts on my collar. But at that point, often after a long fraught journey along some of the trickier roads in the UK, i struggle to submit my mind to him. i am often not very good at giving him head at that point. For quite a while i thought it was because my mouth may be dry, but even when i have been drinking water during the journey, i struggle. It occurs to me that the real reason is partly because we are a little on the eager side and partly because i am not yet fully in the submissive frame of mind that i need to get into. But during the course of the day / evening / night together, i am able to submit to him more and more, not just in a sexual way but emotionally and with that comes pleasure not just of sexual arousal but of submission.
A few evenings ago we were discussing the things we most like doing together. He told me his favorite position to have me in is on my hands and knees, legs wide apart, bottom in the air, as he considers this my most submissive pose. When i am in this position i am unable to do very much, though can touch myself if he instructs me. He in turn can access any part of me he wishes. He can apply clamps to my nipples or clit, he can push his cock into my mouth, my cunt or my arse, whichever he chooses. For me, i also like that position as when he chooses where to push his cock (usually either of the latter two) i know that i will be penetrated deeply and that i will enjoy the experience. But also i know i will experience the pleasure of submission whether or not i am allowed an orgasm at that time.
So when i worry that this relationship is about sex and lust alone, i remember that even if we didn't eat together, chat together, laugh together and watch films (some of which due to an error of digital recording might finish before they should), there is still the pleasure of submission. For me i think that is what this whole thing is about.
Photo from All Fours