Monday, 15 October 2012
Mind and body
I don't think i realised, even at the beginning of this quite how powerful just the right amount of pain can be. Over time the level of pain can increase, while at the same time you just get more and more sexually aroused. He loves the fact that i am becoming such a pain slut, that i crave the spankings, the nipple and clit clamping it feels like he is turning me into some kind of sexual slave.
The end result though is that things start playing out in my mind. No doubt he will think i am going over board here, but there were moments on Thursday evening that i would have done anything he asked. Moments when i really truly felt like i was in love. I have said before that while this relationship isn't about love as such, i don't believe you can experience this level of stimulation without deep feelings of love. i am a little nervous of expressing these emotions here, but since this is my blog, and these were my feelings, i will. I am not saying that today in the cold light of day i am expressing the same feelings, but what i am saying is that BDSM relationships involve extreme levels of trust, they lead to levels of emotion that a person may not have experienced before and this can lead to the release some amazing feelings.
It was difficult leaving his house as i did at 7.30am on Friday. i needed sleep and i could have done with being held some more. But it is experiences like this that make the whole thing worthwhile, even if it never feels we have sufficient time together.