Time to try to bring this series towards its conclusion, so days 22 and 23:
Can you feel submissive without a dominant partner? If so, how does
your submission express itself? If not, how do you handle your
submission or submissive feelings?
I never considered submission before all of this started and i have become more submissive because of it. If the relationship ended, i can't see i would just continue to be submissive as i would need someone to be submissive with or to. Hubby would love me to be submissive to him no doubt (we haven't discussed it) but he would just play on the domestic side of things and i have no desire for that kind of relationship. i already spend enough of my time doing all of the cooking, cleaning, washing, ironing etc etc and i have no desire to extend that further. i guess i would have to work out what to do with my submissive feelings if and when the need arose. Right now though all is well, thank you very much.
Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others)
that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you
questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings?
It is very healthy to question your feelings i think and that is pretty much what i have done here over the last few months. i would like to have the opportunity to express my submission much more, but it is difficult in a longer distance relationship where you don't see each other each day.
i respect the relationships others, who are in full time relationships with their Dominants, have. i am even envious of way in which the submissives are able to make themselves available at all times to their partner. As mentioned in the previous question, i don't really like the idea of domestic discipline (there is enough domestic drudgery going on here already), particularly in that i wouldn't want rules about what i was meant to do or the standards i should keep. That would never happen if i was with Sir full time anyway since i would be the one introducing some rules (he is playing the bachelor lifestyle to the full if truth be known). i am not keen on the idea of needles or blood (not my own, as being a nurse i have lots of experience of both relating to others), and some of the spanking blogs used to have me cringing slightly. But since i am turning into a bit of a spanking slut, i can't really say that any more. I have learnt over the months that submission is a moving feast of ideas to be embraced. Nothing wrong with that either!