The feelings associated with my relationship with Sir are highly complex. I look forward to seeing Him; I feel excited and happy as I get nearer. In terms of day, time and place. The anticipation is always part of the process of leaving my normal, vanilla life behind and seeing Him. I am invariably wet, aroused. It is part of the conditioning over the months that I know we will have some kind of sex within minutes and the thought turns me on. In other words I am full of lust for Him.
But there is more than lust. There are real feelings of happiness at the thought of spending time, of being fed by him, of spending time in his company. Even greater feelings of arousal at the thought of our kisses; The thought of his tongue searching my mouth, my breasts and nipples, my pussy.
During sex, whatever form that takes, I am overwhelmed. I think of nothing but satisfying Him and in turn that I too am satisfied, fulfilled. He is generous and allows me to cum a lot. He takes pleasure in my orgasms, loves to see me cum. I in turn love to be filled with him, and to feel him reach orgasm.
The last time I started a meaningful relationship with someone, I was very young. I fell in love fast and hard. I loved our times together but hated our times apart. Now I am middle aged. I love the times together, I miss Him when we are apart. But it is different. Is that just because we are older? Is it because we don't have that kind of relationship or is it something else?
I don't know the answer. But last weekend was very special in terms of what we did together and the feelings that those acts generated in me. For the first time I swallowed Sir's cum. This was a big thing for me, and is worthy of its own post. Plus on Sunday evening I feel that we came as close as we ever have to making love. No particular kink, but just pure carnal pleasure for both of us.
I don't know if this is love, but whatever it is it makes me feel very good and I want lots more of it!
Happy Valentines Master!