Saturday 18 January 2014

The end

This time for good.

When S and I resumed our relationship last August, it was always likely to be a temporary thing. A friends with benefits kind of arrangement was what we agreed. During that time we have made the most of that dynamic and things have been good. But I was always aware that he was looking for a long term relationship and that he felt that I was not the one for that (I am inclined to agree with that assessment, though at times let my emotions get the better of me).

However I was not quite expecting him to find that special person so soon after our New Year together. Hell I hadn't even told my blog the funny parts of that trip, nor had I expressed anything about the difficult phone call I had with my husband and the lies I told him.

But, apparently he has met someone and he thinks that she is going to be 'the one' for him. I want him to be happy, and from the sound of things, she may well be able to do that for him.

So that is it for us.

I felt a bit odd for a day or two, but only really in that I am sad that I won't be having any more times like New Year with S. I like the kink with him and I had slipped back into enjoying the excitement and thrill of that.

He says he hopes I meet someone else, that I deserve to be happy.

Of course I do and sometime maybe that will happen. Not right now though.

Right now, I need to sort out the mess of my long term relationship and get myself into a position where I can have a relationship with whom I want, when I want and on the terms I want.

Its over with S but it doesn't feel like the complete end of anything.

If anything it is the beginning of a new phase - well that's what I am hoping anyway!

8 comments:

  1. Some people come into our lives just for a time....at a time when we need them.
    hugs abby

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    1. Thanks, we intend to remain friends, but we will see. We have definitely been good for each other that is for sure.

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  2. Sometimes it's that wonderful push to help us through a difficult situation or that helps us make a difficult journey a bit less difficult. I hope he helped fulfill some of your needs and help you see what you CAN find with the right someone. I wish you courage while you travel the road ahead and know we're here to listen(read) and support.

    Hugs,
    Fiona

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    1. Yes, I am in need of a push as had slipped back into the complacent easy life of absent husband and lover again. I do want to find the right someone but not just yet. Thanks Fiona, I will be sticking around here :)

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  3. love your pragmatism...lets hope the new girl is into D/s or he may be back!

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  4. Thanks L, yes I am definitely feeling different this time. He won't be back, since I am not going there again! Apparently she is into kink, but how much we will see - already had what is probably too much information!

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  5. Joolz, i sincerely wish you the best in whatever path you find yourself on next, its good to see you having a positive outlook through what i imagine must be also quite painful.

    x

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    1. Thanks tori, It's interesting how our feelings ebb and flow when it comes to things like this. I think my pride is dented once again, but I also know that this was an inevitable outcome. Onwards and upwards.......

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