This time for good.
When S and I resumed our relationship last August, it was always likely to be a temporary thing. A friends with benefits kind of arrangement was what we agreed. During that time we have made the most of that dynamic and things have been good. But I was always aware that he was looking for a long term relationship and that he felt that I was not the one for that (I am inclined to agree with that assessment, though at times let my emotions get the better of me).
However I was not quite expecting him to find that special person so soon after our New Year together. Hell I hadn't even told my blog the funny parts of that trip, nor had I expressed anything about the difficult phone call I had with my husband and the lies I told him.
But, apparently he has met someone and he thinks that she is going to be 'the one' for him. I want him to be happy, and from the sound of things, she may well be able to do that for him.
So that is it for us.
I felt a bit odd for a day or two, but only really in that I am sad that I won't be having any more times like New Year with S. I like the kink with him and I had slipped back into enjoying the excitement and thrill of that.
He says he hopes I meet someone else, that I deserve to be happy.
Of course I do and sometime maybe that will happen. Not right now though.
Right now, I need to sort out the mess of my long term relationship and get myself into a position where I can have a relationship with whom I want, when I want and on the terms I want.
Its over with S but it doesn't feel like the complete end of anything.
If anything it is the beginning of a new phase - well that's what I am hoping anyway!