Saturday, 18 January 2014

The end

This time for good.

When S and I resumed our relationship last August, it was always likely to be a temporary thing. A friends with benefits kind of arrangement was what we agreed. During that time we have made the most of that dynamic and things have been good. But I was always aware that he was looking for a long term relationship and that he felt that I was not the one for that (I am inclined to agree with that assessment, though at times let my emotions get the better of me).

However I was not quite expecting him to find that special person so soon after our New Year together. Hell I hadn't even told my blog the funny parts of that trip, nor had I expressed anything about the difficult phone call I had with my husband and the lies I told him.

But, apparently he has met someone and he thinks that she is going to be 'the one' for him. I want him to be happy, and from the sound of things, she may well be able to do that for him.

So that is it for us.

I felt a bit odd for a day or two, but only really in that I am sad that I won't be having any more times like New Year with S. I like the kink with him and I had slipped back into enjoying the excitement and thrill of that.

He says he hopes I meet someone else, that I deserve to be happy.

Of course I do and sometime maybe that will happen. Not right now though.

Right now, I need to sort out the mess of my long term relationship and get myself into a position where I can have a relationship with whom I want, when I want and on the terms I want.

Its over with S but it doesn't feel like the complete end of anything.

If anything it is the beginning of a new phase - well that's what I am hoping anyway!


  1. Some people come into our lives just for a a time when we need them.
    hugs abby

    1. Thanks, we intend to remain friends, but we will see. We have definitely been good for each other that is for sure.

  2. Sometimes it's that wonderful push to help us through a difficult situation or that helps us make a difficult journey a bit less difficult. I hope he helped fulfill some of your needs and help you see what you CAN find with the right someone. I wish you courage while you travel the road ahead and know we're here to listen(read) and support.


    1. Yes, I am in need of a push as had slipped back into the complacent easy life of absent husband and lover again. I do want to find the right someone but not just yet. Thanks Fiona, I will be sticking around here :)

  3. love your pragmatism...lets hope the new girl is into D/s or he may be back!

  4. Thanks L, yes I am definitely feeling different this time. He won't be back, since I am not going there again! Apparently she is into kink, but how much we will see - already had what is probably too much information!

  5. Joolz, i sincerely wish you the best in whatever path you find yourself on next, its good to see you having a positive outlook through what i imagine must be also quite painful.


    1. Thanks tori, It's interesting how our feelings ebb and flow when it comes to things like this. I think my pride is dented once again, but I also know that this was an inevitable outcome. Onwards and upwards.......