I seem to be in a chicken / egg situation. Right now, I feel as if I need help, support, attention even. What I can't work out is this:
Is the neediness because I have so much going on in my life? Is it because I have begun to share my problems with another and let go of so much of the power and control? Is it because my submissive side is emerging and so I need the Dominant person to support me or else I feel I can't cope?
Whatever the reason, this morning I woke feeling anxious and yes, needy.
For a reason, not yet clear, the time I thought I was going to spend with Him last night, didn't happen.
This morning, as well as the anxiety I feel when He goes 'off line' as it were, I also feel as if perhaps I am too needy. I start to believe I need to pull back the control of myself, since this feeling is far too scary to cope with.
What is happening to me?
When i say your title, i smiled. I wrote a post similar to this a few years back. I had realized i was becoming needy...a somewhat new feeling, and panicked. I still struggle with it occasionally, but nostly i have realized it is a part of my submission...and Master loves that i need Him.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
You are right abby, it is part of the submission and something i am struggling with. It helps when you have talked it though and thankfully we have. xxx
DeleteIts early Joolz in your time with Him. If He is a good man, a good Dom, a good Master. Then He will not let you fall. He will protect you from the feeling of abandonment that seems to be the flip side of needy. Thats what 'they' say. Take a breath, breathe. Be slow.
ReplyDeleteL x
Thanks L for your wisdom as always, you are so right. So much easier when you can talk things though too :) xxx
ReplyDelete