Thursday 27 December 2012

Time to myself

For the first time in about a week I have time to breathe, to relax and to do as I wish unwatched. Hubby has gone out with friends and won't be back till morning.

It is not true that I am completely alone since my son is upstairs in his room. We have both been to work today and so while I relax downstairs he is playing with his Christmas presents upstairs (he is 21 but who can deny a young man a new computer game and half a dozen CDs).

A truce was called over Christmas while hubby and I decided not to bicker and argue with each other; it led to peace and a kind of relaxation not found in these parts for at least a month. We are getting on ok, though of course the undercurrent of my relationship with Sir is there. I don't blame hubby for the things he says or for the way he acts towards me. But I cannot undo what is going on here.

Over the last week we have had a reasonable amount of sex. This is something different for us, because before the last few weeks we hadn't done so since at least February. Trouble is, what we have together in the bedroom isn't enough and I can't get what I need from him. I can't submit to him even if I could. At some point during those first few days when I came clean, I told him I needed to be dominated.

For some reason he has taken to calling me a dirty bitch, in bed.

It just sounds so wrong.

Another reason i am feeling quite so chirpy today is because i had a chat with Sir today. He sensed i was feeling good and i think that a bit of that rubbed off as His Christmas has been less cheery given a work / ex-wife combo of difficulties.

i know it is wrong, but i can't wait to see Him. i will probably have to wait until my son goes back to uni, but when we do get together it will definitely be worth it.

Because i haven't been online for the last couple of weeks, i haven't had chance to catch up with everyone else. But i have the whole evening ahead of me and i intend do so right now.

I hope everyone has had a good Christmas time; lets all hope for a great, kinky New Year!

7 comments:

  1. Your husband it appears is trying to be what you need, your in a difficult place and part of me wants to say give your husband a chance...but i have been there ie was married but ended it when it became apparent that i really needed to explore my submission and he couldnt provide me with what i wanted.

    Ultimatley you have to do what is right for you, what makes you happy.

    Sounds like you had a good Christmas and if you can keep a balance at home then thats a positive thing.

    x

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree Tori, he is trying to keep me and I am trying to be the wife he wants. Just not sure I am that person and that I can give up what else I have discovered in my life xx

      Delete
  2. I hope things remain calm for you

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes, I have mentioned it Malcolm, but with him if you say you don't like something he is all the more likely to carry on. I had a similar issue when he started calling me Doris some years ago (a bit different i know). thanks for your thoughts as ever. xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. I'm so glad you have had some time to do some catching up.

    I wish you much peace in the coming year... *xing nian kuai le!*

    ReplyDelete