More Saturday thoughts

It's been a busy day, but everything i have done today has been filled with thoughts of Monday.

Yesterday we chatted on the phone. Indeed we didn't just chat, Sir made me come in the office of my Director. As He reminded me, i have come a long way since we met 3 months ago. We had chatted via Yahoo for a few minutes, with Sir pressing me further and further within the confines of my office to first spread my legs then to touch myself. The office is open plan, but Friday is comparatively quiet, so i had just one person next to me, though people behind and in front.  Then he phoned. He and i knew i had somewhere to take the call. I was pretty excited, since i haven't even touched myself in two whole weeks by this time.

As we talked, Sir had me touch myself; i stood behind the closed door to do so. We talked about what we will do on Monday and what we have done before. i came easily (who wouldn't given the restraint i have offered over the last two weeks).

Sir has apparently bought me a present for Monday, but won't say what it is.
i have bought the remote controlled egg.

Such potential fun means that apprehension and tension is high!

So during ironing, shopping, lunch with hubby,  a walk by a canal with hubby, home for a couple of hours, tea with the inlaws then a tortuous wimbledon match involving Andy Murray, and the drive involved in getting to a from these places, all involve me thinking about Monday.  What is more i am handed the anxiety of a potential wet day on Tuesday and the thought that i may have to bring Sir here rather than enjoy outside fun.

Saturday thoughts

i like Saturdays. The one day of the week when i nether have to go to work today or tomorrow, don't get me wrong, i do like work, i enjoy my job very much, but i also like days when i don't work. On Saturdays i tend to get up early. I tend not to sleep late these days and actually i like to get up when the house is quiet and i like to get my laptop out and see what is going on in the webworld. Lately i like, while i am alone, to think about what has happened, might happen and blog about it here. Pain's Pleasure's blog post yesterday has inspired the words i am writing this morning.

For the last few months, since i decided to explore more about D/s i have read so much both online and off. I have been struck by just how much information is out there and just how many well thought out, well written words there are out there for people like me to find. i have also been struck by how welcoming people can be to their community when you happen to stumble across it and leave a mark or two of your own. As i have mentioned before, i don't even have friends i can talk about the state of my marriage with, let alone discuss what i like to do with the man i am illicitly having an affair with. So being offered the hand of contact and perhaps in time virtual friendship is very welcome.

I am struck by the extent to which the blog world provides an opportunity to see such a wide range of lifestyles and interests, while at the same time feeling like a community. i found this before when blogging about nursing. Through writing a nursing / work related blog, i have found that our lives while different, are often so so similar. i have found that people across the world with similar interests have many more similarities than they do differences. The same seems to go for the BDSM world. As with nursing, there are many specialities, different ways of living the lifestyle, but something brings those people together. My blog roll here is getting longer and this is now one of the first places i come to when turing on my computer. i love to see what has been happening to people, or how their wonderful vivid imaginations are working. i enjoy thinking about the lifestyles people are living and wondering if that is something i would want to consider.

Would i want to live a 24/7 lifestyle, could i do it?  Possibly, and certainly i would like the opportunity to live it much more than i am now. 

Am i slave material? Probably not, i am probably much too mouthy, far too used to being controlling over my own life. I am also not sure about domestic discipline type stuff - this is one of many things that Fondlers Anonymous has been discussing here

Do i want to be spanked more, given that Sir isn't really all that keen on inflicting pain in that way? Mind you he has got the hang of causing pretty acute pain to my nipples and breasts once he realised what it did to my ability to submit. So maybe.

So as i get on with Saturday, and i must get on with the less enjoyable part (ironing then shopping to do), before getting onto more fun things (a walk and lunch with hubby), i have to say a big thank you to the people i have met online so far, to those whose blogs are helping expand my mind and thoughts and who have welcomed me into their world.

While at times i am really struggling with my emotions, i can honestly say i am feeling much happier with life than i was 3 months ago when all this began for me. Of course alot of that is about my lovely Master, but much of it is about so much more!

Submission

We are chatting on Yahoo, which is now our main source of correspondence, about next week. He asks what time i will arrive and we discuss what time we will eat dinner. He says that he hopes that we make it to the restaurant. i suggest that he exerts some control and makes sure that we do. He tells me that HE will decide what happens and when. i am in my place, and guess what i love it!

As with many people whose relationship is growing and developing, we discuss all sorts. On Sunday, given the events proceeding on the TV at the time (England losing as usual in a penalty shootout) we discussed that, our weekends, our families, his cold. i do like to discuss normal things, but i also like it when the conversation turns. i love it when he suddenly says: "you know what you will be doing as soon as you walk into the hotel room"? Of course i know, and just the very thought of being on my knees, collar on my neck, his cock in my mouth causes a little gush from below (no i haven't wet myself). We move on to discussing the remote bullet i am hoping to purchase this week. He loves the idea of being in control of me while say, i am ordering dinner in the restaurant with tablecloths. Then he says he may make me wear a plug too. i am torn between that thrill of humiliation and fear of walking through the streets of a city near here wondering if what is inside will stay there. Another slight gush! i ask if i will be permitted to wear shoes that i can actually walk in. Yes he says, so long as i bring along some good killer heels for the room. We move onto what i have been wearing this weekend. Trousers i say - well who wouldn't with the weather we had last week and at the weekend. i know he likes to think of me in a skirt at all times, but this is never happening. He considers a punishment for some clothing misdemeanour, since he hasn't yet told me i can wear knickers again. i am all for punishment, don't worry about that.

i really love the fact that a conversation for say an hour can make you feel so turned on. i really love the fact i can live on anticipation. It is 11 days since i was with Sir and was permitted what felt like 100 orgasms. Today is the first day that i would like to masturbate. This is something of a record for me as before i met sir 3 times a day would be the norm. He would be OK if i decided that i needed to get out my rabbit, though he prefers it if he is around in some way (on the phone for example), but actually i am going to try to last out. I think doing so will be good for me and for my submission. As he says i am a willing student and he is my very willing Master!

Photo obtained from here

Preparations begin again

A week tomorrow i will be with Sir again. This time, he has a few days off work and is coming to stay nearby. We will be able to see each other both on Monday evening and much of the day on Tuesday. i would love to spend the night with him, but in order not to arouse unnecessary suspicion i am spending the night at home. In reality this will also allow us to get some rest - if previous encounters are anything to go by. Sir has booked the accommodation, i am in charge of booking the restaurant for dinner. He wants me to book somewhere where they have table cloths on the tables, this is not all that easy these days. He obviously has in mind to be a little naughty while we are out and about.

When you are in a relationship like this, there needs to be planning. Time is precious and there is a feeling that you don't want to waste it. But we are learning not to over plan, since a bit of spontaneity is a very good thing and certainly adds to the eroticism of the moment. i know though that i won't be able to help myself thinking about what i will wear, down to the underwear (or lack of it). i will be thinking of those first few moments in the room with Sir and how things will progress. i will be thinking of the meal and wondering what He has in mind for me during it. We have been discussing my getting one of those remote controlled eggs for him to control. i am definitely up for that one. i will be thinking of the weather, because on Tuesday we want to be able to get outside. Of course neither of us can control that one!

All in all it feels really exciting; i just have to get through this next week to get there!

Mixed Feelings

Today is my Wedding Anniversary. Hubby and i have been married for 28 years, this by anyones reckoning is a very long time. i am not necessarily good at remembering past events in detail, but i am pretty sure i remember large parts of this one, even down to the weather, it was a cloudy but warm day and rained during the evening. Like most  young brides i went into the whole thing full of romance, nearly as much in love with the idea of the wedding as i was with my new husband.

You could describe the last 28 years as a rollercoaser. At various times i have considered myself content and happily married and at other times much much less so. The first few years were particularly tricky, i remember the period soon after the wedding when i confided in a friend that marriage was less exciting than i had expected. I couldn't put my finger on why i wasn't completely happy since hubby hadn't done anything wrong at them time. We had a party when we had been married for 5 years. I arranged it because i felt that against some kind of odds we had reached a milestone. He rewarded me by having an affair with a woman from work which continued until after my son was born. I vividly remember going out with family members for my 30th birthday, without my husband who i told them was working away (actually that was what he told me and i kind of believed him). 

My bubble burst one day as i stood in my dining room ironing, my toddler son near by when the woman turned up on my door step and confronted that she loved my husband. i have gone through what happened next many many times. i was angry with her but more so with him. i might have hit her if i was that kind of person, we spoke for a few minutes and somehow i got her to leave. She followed the visit with a long letter about the things they did together and the fact that they were engaged. i think that may well have been a low point in my life!

Just as i had been in love with getting married, i now became obsessed with keeping my husband from 'that' woman! i fought for him, i told him i loved him, i didn't want him to go. In truth, i think i was more worried about the implications of being left alone, of having to face people as a single parent than in working through the implications of staying married to a man i neither trusted nor really fancied any more.

For a long time i found sex with him really difficult. i would be turned on, i would want us to make love but then once he touched me, i would immediately feel revolted by him and turned off. i realised that i might have made a mistake but once again fear led me to just get on with it.

The last 15 years have been better in terms of us living together as a family. Hubby and i have learnt to manage our life together and at times we have had some reasonable sex. My not wanting him to touch me all those years ago though have led directly to him thinking that there is no need for foreplay and our 'lovemaking' has been something that occurs infrequently and is over in minutes.

Marriage is about more than sex, whatever form that sex takes. We have concentrated on providing a safe and loving environment for our son to grow up in. We have loved each other, how could you remain together for so long and not love each other? I no longer hate him in the way i once did, i am no longer repulsed by his touch, but i am not sexually attracted to him.

Today we will go out for lunch for our anniversary, it will be a nice occasion but not quite romantic. Neither of us minds. We are marking the occasion which feels right but we both know, even if we don't speak the words that we are unlikely to reach 30. Going it alone after such a long time feels pretty scary, but i really don't think it would be fair on either of us to keep up a facade that has gone on for too long.

Why do I let myself get wound up?

I didn't hear from Sir until last evening. Not one word from when i left His house on Friday night, until 7.20pm last night (Monday). He had been busy with family, firstly with his mum and then his children who are still quite young. He seems a great dad who does lots with his kids, He is the kind of dad I wished for my own son and didn't always get (not that hubby has been in anyway bad, just not creative or massively active). Then on Monday He was working (as of course was I).

i knew this was likely the case, but because i had sent a text to let him know i was safely home, an email to say thanks for a great day on Saturday, then a text on Monday morning to ask if all was ok and got no replies i worked myself up into a state of angst.

One version of my mad mind had Him ill, dead or in some way incapacitated. Another had him deciding that i was not to be bothered with (though he bought me the lovely lingerie and gave no impression he was repulsed by me, quite the contrary). Finally i decided i was probably doomed to spend the next few weeks, months, years even carrying on with the dullness that is my current home life.

Of course deep inside i knew the truth. Last night i gently chided Him that i was a bit worried that i hadn't heard from Him (without going over board). i did feel a little silly though, just as i should!

Struggling with the inner me

Struggling to cope with my life this weekend. A weaker person might throw in the towel, one way or the other, but i am not a weak person. i am however struggling with my inner voice, the one that alternately tells me to tell hubby the truth and then to keep up this facade.

i haven't heard from Sir since Friday. i am a little annoyed about this, though i know it is probably because he is busy with his children. i expect we will chat later tonight, but again i am fighting my inner voice that wants me to ring him, text him, email him or all three. i just sent an email with a link to a website i think he might like and saying that i hope that he is having a good weekend. But i want to say so much more.

Last night i drank too much; some wine, followed by two G&Ts. i started on hubby but he knows better than to rise to me in that situation. i shouldn't have had the gin, it brings out the inner me and i need it hidden right now. Luckily, i was very tired and sensibly went to bed.

i suppose i never thought all of this would be easy, but at the same time, i didn't realise how difficult it would be to keep the inner me in its place. Question is though: am i doing myself a disservice by keeping it out of site?

Emotions

It is probably impossible to embark on any relationship without an emotional attachment forming as time passes. Up until now, i have tried to keep those thoughts from my mind (unsuccessfully at times i will admit). Yesterday, for me, seemed different. Yesterday evening i was almost overwhelmed with feelings while lying in bed with Master. To the extent that i wanted to say things that i am not sure it is yet time to say.

We started in the way described in my previous post and quickly found ourselves in the bedroom - i was wearing the new lovely lingerie Sir had bought, also wearing some new killer heels i had bought specially. i was collared, clamped and tied to his bed. Once i was allowed my first orgasm they just came one after the other and within an hour he had claimed me - he is the only person i have had anal sex with and this is way of laying claim to my body. He was (and i told him) very dominant and i was particularly submissive; we are getting better at our respective roles.

After a very late and very pleasant meal provided by Sir, we retired back to bed and picked up pretty much where we had left off. Sir is massively attentive to my needs and he spent so much time yesterday making sure that those needs were being met. That in turn meant i was better able to meet his needs. Until yesterday Master had not orgasmed inside my pussy, but that is what happened, with me on top in the most wonderful way, as instructed. I also overcame my gag reflex for a pretty significant (imho), and well performed deep throat fellatio.

We then spent a couple of hours (broken by some tea and chocolate at some point during the early evening) just lying there kissing and touching and that is when i just wanted to tell him that i loved him.

Having feelings for a man that is not your husband is quite a tricky thing to consider. Even when you have entered into a socially illicit relationship with that man. i didn't really go looking for someone to have a specific relationship with. He offered me the opportunity to try something new, to explore new perspectives in my mind and body, and boy have i? i am not sure if i expected to develop these feelings, i didn't really consider it. Lying there with him, and overwhelmed by those feelings, i struggled to understand whether i felt that way because i had just experienced the most amazing sex or because they were real feelings. For this reason and because i am kind of nervous of broaching the subject with him, i said nothing.

Well nothing is not quite true. He had said earlier about all of this being 'a bit of fun'. i had agreed, after all, we are definitely having lots and lots of fun at that moment. But while we were lying there and i was feeling as i was, i said: 'this is more than a bit of fun isn't it?' He didn't answer, but he did kiss me again, deeply and for a good period of time. Definitely not time to discuss feelings at that moment.

This morning, i am over 100 miles away. I wish i was still with him, and i was this close to not getting out of that bed last night, he certainly reluctantly let me go. The feelings remain, but then i am still turned on, still wet. My nipples and pussy is still sore, my arse still remembers what happened.

Where is this going? Who knows? I still feel great love for him this morning and for now that will suffice!

In a day or so, i will write something about this in 'the journey' page.

Preparations

Since that first night we have seen each other about every two weeks. The time between those meetings is spent reflecting on what happened last time or sometimes a combination of that time and others, then thinking about next time.

Next time is tomorrow. This week we have spent considering that day. What time, where, what will i wear to arrive, what will the rules be when i arrive?

Other preparation takes place at this end, shaving and general preparation of my body for Sir. Getting clothing and any required toys ready, buying stockings. For Sir, maybe he tidies up his house a bit - he is living a bachelor life after all. Also he thinks about what food we will eat; that man gets very hungry between orgasms! So he goes food shopping.

Tomorrow i leave straight from work, a half day. i will drive to him dressed as i have been at work, i will stop at a service station about half an hour from his house and reapply makeup, put on stockings (unless i decide to wear them all day but that depends on the weather) and remove my knickers (unless i decide that crazy course of action to go commando in the first place).

As soon as i enter Master's house, and we have kissed as i know we will. i will submit and be his. i will be on my knees, he will put on my collar, and i will suck his cock. At this point i will be where i belong and i will be who i am.

For more, you and i will have to wait until after......

Sir went shopping

He told me online last night that he had been shopping, buying things for me. i felt really excited when he told me this as people rarely buy me things when it isn't my birthday or something. i knew he had been looking for lingerie that he wanted me in as he showed me some stylish red underwear on Sunday, and he asked me for my vital size as he called it. While we were chatting he was disappointed because the red bra in my size was out of stock. Now he has been to a shop, in his lunch hour. He has been thinking of me, while in a shop in his lunch hour and he has bought me lingerie.

He started off saying it was a surprise, but then sent me to the links. It is stylish, but not red. One set is black, the other white; yes, there are two sets and one black suspender belt. The stockings are my department (how i laughed at that, i am tall and he knows i struggle to get them long enough!).

i was feeling tired last night. i woke really early for the second day in a row (5am is no joke) and i had to do an evening focus group with people who have recently had cancer (that is part of my job). The focus group was interesting, but it was draining. Even though i have worked in healthcare for a very long time, their stories are difficult to hear. Often good stories about their care, yes. But also stories of when people are just too busy, stories of when people just don't think before they open their mouths. But also stories of the pain that goes with having cancer or being the significant other of that person.

 i had also been thinking about Sir much of the day. Thinking because we are seeing each other Friday. i am taking a half day (time owing as i have another focus group Thursday), but i haven't set up my excuse for being late with hubby, haven't actually told him yet. i was wondering on my way home, about the whole idea of travelling so far for a few hours of fun and games when i will be tired. i was wondering if i am just crazy or something.

But then, after a late dinner, knocked together while hubby sat glued to two foreign teams playing football, i made myself go online and chat to Sir. i was rewarded by feelings of care, generosity, thoughtfullness and of course ulterior motive. i was suddenly less tired, less weary. Instead i was wet, turned on by his words and by his enthusiasm. This i thought is a man who cares, who wants to see me, and because of that i will throw off the thoughts of the day and i will go to him on Friday afternoon, for as long as we have together. It is going to be great fun.

All Quiet

All aspects of my life are pretty quiet and low key this weekend. Sir is camping with his son and the Scouts some place in the south of the country. He is out of contact, as he should be. i know that when he creeps out from the Scout camp he is partying with friends. His life is much more interesting than mine (as you might expect). My son is staying with his UK University friends and is attending end of term festivities and probably getting drunk. My husband is making the sofa, on which he has taken up residence, sink in the middle. The Euro Championships (football) have started and will keep him occupied for a couple of weeks!

The sun is out and though it is cool, rather than especially summery, it gives me a good feeling. i have been able to get on with some gardening at last. Yesterday i spent a theraputic couple of hours pulling all those weeds that grow when you get a cycle of rain, sun and more rain! Today i am going to buy flowers to fill my garden with some more colour.

After last weekend, for a few days this week i felt a bit down. i thought maybe i was suffering a bit of subdrop (having read about this on some other blogs lately), but actually it was probably nothing more than PMT. Often before my period i get a feeling of overwhelming unhappiness and impending doom. Because of my age and the fact that there is more chance of a UFO crashing in my garden than me ever being pregnant again i don't always attend to dates, so the arrival of said period yesterday, took me by surprise. i am cheered that timing this month was good and i am further cheered now by the lifting of the PMT. i am also cheered by the prospect of flowers, of sunny weather and of the opportunity to chat to Sir later and perhaps plan another get together.

Sometimes quiet is good.

The challenges of the online world

I have been blogging since 2006 and still have another place that i write my thoughts (mainly to do with work related stuff), though i have been bad at updating it lately. In the past that blog has received quite a few visitors and through them i have visited lots of other blogs and read lots of very interesting and informative posts. when i first started exploring the D/s lifestyle one of the first thing i did was to look at and read blogs. Lots and lots of them. I find other people's lives, even when they think they are doing quite dull things, to be really interesting. Maybe i am nosey, or maybe i like the fact you can make 'friends' with people online. Indeed some of my Facebook friends are from my online blog community. i don't get many visitors here yet, but that is fine. i am writing most of this stuff for myself so i can go back and look later to see how my journey is progressing, my thoughts and feelings etc.

In all my time blogging i have never had one of my posts completely stolen. So i was really shocked yesterday to come across this post on Submissive Sanctury. Lil does write beautifully, so i guess if you were going to plagiarise, her's would be the kind of work to take. But when you proport to be writing about yourself and your life why steal the lives of others? Do some people just not have their own original thoughts. Lets face it, it is easy to take the work of others from the internet, but why not ask someone if you can reproduce something, or as i have done, link to it?

The other type of place i go to online is to some of the various 'lifestyle' forums. After exploring 2 or 3 i have decided i quite like Fetlife. I have found though that peope can be just as judgemental there as in any other place (real or online). It is interesting to me that people who may find themselves judged by others for their beliefs and for the way they conduct their lives can themselves lay judgement on others. Sex outside of marriage without the consent of ones spouse is a particular area that gets people going; this makes it wise, for a person like me, to choose carefully how i contribute if i don't want to be shot down in flames (which i don't). The good thing is that i have found a new online friend who is in a similar position to me, though further forward, and i have joined a couple of groups on fetlife that are more sympathetic to people such as me.

The online world is not substitute for real life, but it sure can be an interesting place if you know where to look!

Play it again Sir

One of the nicest parts of a day (or night) with Sir is the ability to prolong the effect by discussing the events online. Last night we spent some time doing just that; exploring how each of us felt when we were doing different things and replaying our reactions to those feelings. This is one of the ways that this relationship is very different to any other i have had before, another is the extent to which Sir examines my expressions as he applies different stimuli to me. He is also open to discussing the effect that then has on him, and the pleasure that gives him.

One of the main things we talked about last night was the relationship between what he does to my nipples and the effect that has on my clitoris and pussy. He told me he loves to watch the expression on my face as first prepared my nipples for the clamps, then applied them. He is not really into giving pain, but is loving the wonderful effect just the right amount of pain has on me and my submission. As i become more aroused i spread my legs that bit wider, i am just that bit more his submissive slut and that for him is the biggest turn on. This was most evident for me when he tied me to the tree. i was then unable to move my hands or arms, but as he applied more stimulation to my nipples i was inclined to open my legs wider for him as i felt the orgasm begin to build inside me. This morning i have found this article which confirms what i have always believed about the link between a woman's nipples and her genital organs.

One of the other things we discussed (again) was how i am progressing in my ability to take his cock in my mouth. I think he is pleased with my progress because he was able to get pretty deep without me gagging which is real progress. We talked about maybe another day and another tree, where he might tie me in a good sub position where i am at the correct level to take him so that he can perhaps complete this area of my training. I am definitely up for this.

Of course the other big thing we discussed was the disused picnic table. The fact that it put me at just the right height for Sir. The fact that i needed to lie right at the edge (though he was impressed that i thought his cock was longer than it is). The fact that for the first time i was able to lie on my back for anal; a first time for me and actually the best position so far. I think from Sir's comments it was pretty good for him too!

We talked about meeting at this place again - Sir lives 2 hours away in good traffic and currently doesn't have a car - during the summer. I like this idea very much!

A day in the great outdoors

Yesterday fully lived up to my expectations and more. For some reason sex outside is one of the things i have always wanted to do. It would be true to say i have previously indulged in some masturbation with a male friend in the past, but nothing on the scale of what Sir and i got up to yesterday.

Having dropped hubby and his friends at the races for their own day of gambling, drinking and observing the Queen i headed off to a railway station a few miles away to collect Sir. On the way, i stopped as instructed and put on my stockings and suspenders underneath my summer dress. Amazingly i managed to put on seamed stockings, with the seam straight while sitting down! Driving with my skirt around my waist (as instructed), stocking tops showing, i felt conspicuous but found it something of a turn on. Sir was most pleased when he got in the car, giving me a taste of what was to come by stroking my pussy and clit and finding me already wet (predictable i'd say)! He then put on my collar to signify that we had begun the day.

Sir had done his homework and navigated us to a car park on the edge of some woods where i was instructed to suck sir's cock and received some very nice foreplay. Sir helped me off with my bra and then out came the nipple clamps, which he applied before we trecked off into the woods in search of a secluded spot. This particular area is a great place for walking with our without your dog, mountain biking, horse riding, picnicing (you get the picture), but people stick to the paths and within minutes you can be in an area that people are unlikely to come across you. We found such a place and settled down with our rug, picnic and supplies. Sadly it was a bit chilly to completely strip off, but it was that secluded that i would have.

The next several hours were spent doing some very nice and some very naughty things. Sir spent a very long time exploring how he could give me pain in my nipples and then bring me to the edge time and time again. This was done in all positions and also tied to one of the trees. It culminated in a very big orgasm which i can't even quantify. He then applied the clamp to my clit and played with my nipples then fucked me giving me the best orgasm i have ever had during penetrative sex. There was also food, sir as usual had bought some very nice things for us to eat and we also had some lovely time just kissing and holding each other.

As the afternoon drew on we packed up and took a trip around the pathways to the car (not by the most direct route) and several times sir stopped us to either suck his cock or for him to touch various parts of my body which was easily accessible to him in a loose fitting dress with no underwear.

The finale occured in an area containing a picnic table whch looked like it hadn't been used for food for a very long time. Probably because it is situated in an area that you are unlikely to find (unless you are the kind of explorer Sir obviously is). This is the place then that Sir chose for us to have our final anal sex of the day and boy was it good? Last time, a tummy problem meant i was unable to enjoy anal sex with sir, but yesterday i really enjoyed it. As i get more used to the sensation and am able to relax into Sir's wonderful cock i feel i am getting closer to being able to cum myself while sir is inside. Sir said himself that he could tell i was close and wondered if i was going to ask to cum. Not quite but maybe next time.

So that was the day in the outdoors. We drove off to a local pub and drank coffee in the garden. i went off to the toilet to make sure i looked presentable and to put my bra on (i needed it by then as my nipples were quite sore and sensitive, as they still are) and then we headed back to the station.

I had a great day which completely lived up to my hopes and dreams and which will stay with me always.

Rules and Punishment

Sir and i are in the early days of our D/s relationship and so far there are few rules. The few that have been 'negotiated' (i am not even sure why i typed that word since he told and i do) are as follows:

• Always wear glasses when with Sir - i usually wear contacts but Sir prefers glasses. I am happy to comply since he and i share a bit of a fetish in this area.
• Always wear stockings when with Sir - i am not yet sure how this will pan out in the height of summer; we'll see if there is any negotiation outside of the house etc. These stockings must always be of the type that need a suspender belt.
• Be prepared to assume the submissive position on my knees and to suck Sir's cock, possibly before i have even got my coat off. Sir is quite cheeky, or else eager; last time i was with him he gave me a very welcome mug of coffee (i had driven for 2 hours to get to him) and told me to sit down, then let me have just one sip before i had to take his cock (not that i am complaining you understand)!

Other than that, he calls me joolz when we are playing, in a scene or he wants to let me know that we are about to play. I call him Sir.

New rules will appear as we go along as they did last night while chatting.

Sir - what are you wearing
joolz - just a skirt and top (not changed after work)
Sir - knickers?
joolz - yes
Sir - you know you must never wear knickers when chatting to sir
joolz - what?

This is a new rule, not discussed and never mentioned. Sometimes he makes me go and take my knickers off during a chat and the other evening to insert a butt plug. But as to what must always take place no. i know though why he introduced it last night, it is because he wants an excuse to punish me. and because i am happy to be punished tomorrow i am not arguing!

We have some great ideas for tomorrow and what will happen and when. I am hoping these come off and i have a good blog post for Sunday! The weather is meant to be good so i think i will be stripped in the forest (save the stockings, suspenders and shoes), i will be wearing the collar that Sir used put on me for the first time last time we met and there will be nipple clamps. And there will be some punishment; perhaps spanking. Bring it on!