I am a slut

There is no getting away from it, this girl is a slut and what is more she likes to be one.

Yesterday this girl took a half day as Sir was in London, not so very far from where this girl works, on business. They met for a look around some (mainly closed due to it being Maundy Thursday) interesting churches. As usual though even a closed church is interesting with Sir around, plus there are always some hidden places in London that Sir knows and this girl hasn't yet laid eyes on. There was also a look around the National Gallery, which is always good for an hour or so - Sir imparts some of his art history knowledge, this girl admires or otherwise the paintings, commenting on the ugliness of some of those 18th century women.

This girl was dressed for work. She was wearing a black and cream dress, highly suitable for the business woman about town. She most definitely didn't look like a slut, but that is what she is. This girl had her bottom and tits felt in numerous places yesterday - churches, churchyards, gardens amongst the Royal Courts of Justice buildings, the National Gallery.... This girl was very turned on by the time they ate dinner. More so because in a pub before dinner, Sir instructed this girl to go remove her panties. Of course she did and then invited much more touching up while they finished up their drinks in that busy pub. This girl was in a fine submissive mood over dinner and did lots of smiling and looking into His eyes but less talking. This kind of behaviour pleases Sir (as previously stated).

This girl and Sir headed off to a final pub for a drink before getting their respective trains. The place was busy so they moved table a couple of times so that they could be positioned for this girl to be the slut she is and so he cold touch what is his. Sir and girl wanted much more from the evening, but since this girl has to go to a family lunch today they couldn't have it. There is something really exciting for this girl to be used and potentially humiliated in this way though. Something which will add to the anticipation for tonight.

Sir likes this girl to be His slut in this way and boy does being that slut turn this girl on!

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Overnight the stat counter turned over 50,000 hits. That seems a large number (though small in comparison to some) over 2 years. I am really grateful that people call by and read the stuff I write and also that people take the time to comment. Keep visiting and keep leaving your comments - I appreciate it. Thank you.

His slut

She wore a tight grey skirt, with a cream top. Heels.

Every bit the business woman?

Well a cream top with black bra?

Seamed stockings?

As they entered the bar, she looked around and saw people in casual dress. It was Sunday, so people were out for lunch, socialising, chatting.

He observed that men looked at her legs, observed the heels, skirt, blouse, bra. He loved it - his slut watched by other men in this way.

As they sat with their drinks, he told her to open her legs for him. Of course she complied.

She tried to chat normally, he smiled at the idea that they were observed in this way. Last time they had sat in this bar, she had felt conspicuous by her dress and demeanour. This time she ignored any embarrassment, proud to be HIS slut.

They finished their drinks, and headed for their room. Outside the door, he paused and ran his hand up her stockinged leg, inside her panties. she gasped as his fingers stroked her wet pussy, her clit. Taking his hand away, he undid the zip on his trousers, releasing his large, hard cock. She was on her knees before he told her to suck.

Gratefully she took him into her mouth. Closing her eyes, she tried to block out the sounds in the pub area below. Instead she concentrated on the feel of him, the taste and smell. She was pleased to have her mouth filled with him at last.

Then as she got to her feet, he used the key card to admit them to the privacy of their room.

He had loved that she had looked every bit his slut in the bar and that she had behaved like one outside the room. Now, she would be His slut in the room. They both knew what would happen next.......

Looking forward

So yesterday ended in disappointment. But as they say tomorrow is another day. In fact so is today.

My life, as Sir is always reminding me, is mainly positive these days. Redundancy has brought with it new opportunities; new car, apartment in France, new kitchen. In short, i am pretty much financially secure. Of course this doesn't take account of the prospect of divorce, but at the moment that is a way off.

i have been head hunted for the possibility of work that pays twice the rate i am currently receiving. i will need to go for an interview, but the possibility that i will soon be working full time again for a while is definitely there.

i am proud to report i have lost 7lb in 2 weeks. Diet and fitness are going well and i am on track to wear the corset within the month.

Next, arrangements have been made for the signing of papers for ownership of the French apartment. i am pretty excited about this. There will be a couple of short trips over there in the next few weeks and then hopefully i will be able to rent the apartment out before i take a longer holiday. My birthday is coming up, and i am hoping to be over there then. Perhaps taking my son as a treat for all of his hard work. Of course, i will have work for him to do while there, but i think he will be happy to help get things ready for paying guests.

Son's graduation is next Thursday; i will be just so proud!

Tomorrow, i am off to visit Sir (traffic permitting).

The weather here is suddenly as summer should be, so in prospect is an afternoon on the beach, just me, my book and perhaps an ice cream and some water. Then later, Sir and i maybe will have a picnic dinner on the beach. I just love this time of year for its long days and warm weather. Plus there is the prospect of al fresco fun, which knowing Sir will involve some kind of risk of being discovered, plus the pushing of my humiliation related limits.

i look forward to sucking Him.

i look forward to being fucked in all orifices.

i look forward to kneeling before Him.

i just look forward......

Thoughts for the coming week

It has been a month since i laid in the arms of my Sir. Circumstances (finishing my job, Easter holidays, and His holiday) have conspired to keep us apart. In a way it has been difficult, after all no one likes to be apart from someone they care for, but in another way necessary and for that reason reasonably easy to manage. The last week or two at work, required me to actually be there. Also my son returned from university for the Easter break (and will be here for another week). It has been good to spend time with him, particularly as i have quite a bit more of it. Tonight Sir returns from holiday and i feel we can start to think about the week ahead.

This time next week we should be together as we head off for the weekend together. Some plans have been put in place which are not too dissimilar to those discussed by Jake in his blog post today . I won't go into details right now, but there are plans to do something new and different, something we have discussed a few times, something of a fantasy. Like in Joy's fantasy, this will be consensual, which is one reason there isn't much to say right now. We don't yet know if what we are thinking about will happen. Everything rests on the circumstances on the day and whether we decide to go through with things. But rest assured there will be something to say afterwards.

For me though, next week will be a little momentous. Hubby leaves for a trip to give himself a break, which i hope will help with sorting out his head and i have a whole week of freedom from the invisible bonds which seems to surround me most of the time. He is mainly absent, but in constant text contact, sometimes pleasant and ordinary and sometimes not. Sir has on more than one occasion commented about the way in which i submit to hubby, in a domestic, discipline kind of way Sir doesn't seek to have me submit to Him. i do it without thinking and then could kick myself, since it is not the way i wish to be. But i guess that years of conforming to a particular way of life will take a little longer to break free from. With Sir's help, though, i am sure that i will.

The great thing though, is that i am really looking forward to the next week, whatever happens and whatever we end up doing together. Plus is will be fun, and we both needs some of that!

Allowing plans to form

This is proving to be a long month. That is how long it will have been once i see Sir next week. We have had lots of contact in other ways, mainly through the medium of Skype. But it is never the same.

At the same time things with hubby ebb and flow. He is out a lot but when he is home he is both attentive and intense.

i continue to work my notice (just under 3 weeks to go), on one hand things are busy there, but on the other hand there is a realisation that things really will end soon. There are opportunities, but at the same time there is fear.

So all in life is on one hand the same, but on the other distinctly different. i manage all of this by living from day to day and week to week. i am not planning too far in advance.

But this time next week, i will be with Sir. So i am starting to plan. Correction; we are starting to plan!

This time i will travel by train. The trip is to be midweek; i am using up my last 2 days of leave (he will also be off work). Today i looked at train times, and know that i can meet Sir for the final part of the journey at around 9.30. i know that i will wear a dress or skirt, and that i will wear stockings, suspenders and heels; of course. i am excited that there should be some opportunity for us to do something quite naughty on the train. It feels that (even though we are still in the grips of winter right now), spring will have sprung.

i am allowing myself to remember how it is to kneel before him, to be allowed to suck his wonderful cock. i am allowing myself to imagine him putting the nipple clamps on me, to put on my collar and to remind me who my Master is. i love to think of his cock inside me andi love to imagine bending over for him while he spanks me with the riding crop. i know that he is also thinking of these things; we have spoken of them.

We both know, thought that, plans are a wonderful thing, but the reality will be better"

New Year and time to think ahead

The past month has been pretty difficult and has in many ways overshadowed the previous wonderful ones. Today though, as well as being the start of a new year is also the 9 month anniversary of Sir and i first chatting online.

i cannot describe how much i have discovered about myself in that time and from where i sit most of it is good. While i didn't enjoy lying and deceiving hubby, i have found out that there is so much more to life that i hoped and dreamt of. If you had walked up to me on January 1st last year and told me that within months i would be on my knees before Sir, my nipples clamped, my hands restrained. That i would be telling Him what a whore i am, that i would be asking to suck His cock, asking for Him to Fuck me, use me. If you had told me that i would even contemplate anal sex much less enjoy it. i would have told you that you had gone barking mad. But all of the above is true. What is more, i have learnt that dressing up is not a chore, but exhilarating and arousing. i have discovered that while i am not keen on humiliation while it is happening, once again it is a huge turn on.

Time to move forward then, but actually without too much planning. While my visits to Sir need a little bit of organising, i don't plan to get too hung up on it all. i have to say that He has been wonderful over the past month. He has given me space, but at the same time has been there for me. i really can't wait to be with Him again in another couple of weeks. i am sure that he will have some kinky, humiliating and very very sexy ideas up his sleeve for our times together.

As for life with hubby again i am not thinking too far ahead; we will have to see how things go day to day. We do have some good things to look forward to though, particularly my son's graduation in the summer. i need to find myself a job (got a couple of applications in the pipeline), got to lose that post Christmas weight but nothing that can't be achieved with a view on that lovely corset!

So as a new year starts, i have to say that things don't feel too bad. In fact i feel strangely optimistic. Lets hope that this year is a good one for us all.

Picture from lovingdevotion

Day Out - Part 1

The weather had turned pretty chilly, but she was well wrapped up against the cold wind in her new coat with its faux fur collar. She was also wearing a grey wool jumper, black jeans and boots. As she sat on the train for the first part of her journey, reading  a book on her kindle, she felt comfortable, warm but also a little apprehensive. She was very much looking forward to seeing Him, but at the same time she was anxious that she was meeting Him on a weekend day and that to do this she needed to create an untrue story for the person at home.

Her mood took a further dive as she locked herself in a cubicle in the ladies toilets at the large mainline station. It was too cold to take off her coat, so having removed her boots and jeans, she put on her stockings (attached to the basque she was already wearing under her jumper), put on a short skirt and high heeled boots. Observing herself in the mirror as she washed her hands, she noted that she looked good, but was pretty much the only person not to be wearing either trousers or opaque / woolly tights with their skirt. Most people were wearing flat shoes or boots rather than heels and to be honest she would have preferred that too. Putting those thoughts to one side she headed for the underground.

It was a short journey to the meeting place, just 3 stops on the tube and then they were together. Instead of being happy, pleased to see him, she was grumpy. He said he understood why she felt as she did, but that it would be worth it. She grudgingly admitted that this might be the case.

There was one more train journey to take to their destination. The carriage was almost empty, only 3 or 4 other passengers, perhaps 2 of them sitting reasonably close to them. He sat opposite her, and after a short time, instructed her to open her legs. She did as instructed and he ran his hand up her stocking leg and up to her pussy. He told her she was very wet. For some reason this irritated her. She didn't want to be wet when she was irritated in this way. He just smiled and worked her clit a little.

The first signs of a defrosting of her mood emerged and as he took his hand away and instructed her to touch herself, then as He stroked her some more, she began to actually look forward to what was to come (or cum).

30 Days of Submission - Day 28

Has your submission ever let you down? Have you ever been criticised for your submission? Have you ever regretted being or feeling submissive in a moment or in a relationship? Have you ever looked back and realised you made a mistake and how did you handle your submission going forward from that?

In the words of Edith Piaf: je regrette rien. This has been a year of learning about submission and so far i haven't felt let down in any way, shape or form. i am not sure who is going to criticise me and even if they did, i think i am old enough and ugly enough to cope. Since this a non answer to a non question, perhaps i should move on to something else!

i am to go to work in crotchless red knickers tomorrow, in November. i am to make myself cum while at work and tell him about it when i see him on Saturday. On Saturday i am to wear the same crotchless knickers. He thinks that will be a big turn on, having me turn up in knickers that i have already cum in. Of course, since the knickers are crotchless, and barely cover anything they are unlikely to be too dirty even after all that wear. Of course you understand this is not my normal behaviour, i generally change  my underwear daily (when of course i am wearing it). 

i was going to arrive to meet Sir in jeans on Saturday (i need to leave the house and return as i normally would to go shopping with a girlfriend). But of course joolz has quite a big mouth when she gets excited and somewhere during our conversation last night i agreed to arrive to meet him in crotchless red knickers (see above), stockings and suspenders, my newly purchased black suede boots and my new coat (not sure what else will be worn underneath yet, but not much i think. i am thinking that it is a good thing that the train station i arrive at in the capital City has recently been renovated. i am hoping this means that the ladies toilets are suitably clean, tidy and warm! 

Still if a girl wants to be clamped and spanked she needs to make some sacrifices. Who wouldn't dress like a slut, be humiliated and submit to get what she needs. Who could ever regret submission under these circumstances? Not me that's for sure! 

100th Blog post and 30 days of submission Day 27

I have been having one of those weekends where you potter around doing a bit of this and that. Some shopping, some housework, some surfing and some Bond. Yes Bond. On Friday we went to see Skyfall along with dinner out. The film was great and dinner was fine. I won't say anything about the film since people will be going to see it at different times, but I liked it. It was a good start to a pottering kind of weekend.  

Today, we went out to a local out of town shopping kind of place to get the coat I want. I tried it on in one size too small and one size too big. I like the coat but neither sizes were quite right, so I ordered it online once we got home. Now, as I write this, hubby alternates between more Bond (there is a whole Sky channel devoted just to James Bond films) and football (the soccer kind) and his naughty kinky wife has been surfing the internet for suitable photos for her blog post 100. In my defense, I did the ironing first. 

So that's the vanilla, family kind of life out of the way and here is the kinky side. I was thinking that in combining this momentous blog (number 100) with a day of submission, a picture like this would be appropriate.

This is the kind of position Sir likes me in, and this is how he likes me dressed. Many of our fantasies involve me wearing stockings and suspenders with some very high heels under whatever clothes i have on for the scene. Over the time it has taken to post 100 times here, i have come to enjoy this more and more. He has helped to nurture my submission, and to enjoy it. i in turn embrace it more and more.

So to Day 27 of 30 Days of Submission. This is highly appropriate:

Do you have submissive desires or fantasies that you have yet to be able to explore? Do some of your desires confuse or frighten you? Do they excite you?

We have explored many fantasies together. Some have been fulfilled and some are still there to be achieved. I would like to be bound more like this:

I would definitely like to spend more time restrained, perhaps blindfolded and gagged. I would like to explore how the senses can be made to respond when you are unable to see or speak and are restrained. To have Him make me keep my legs open for him, to have Him use me while i am unable to prevent him doing what he wants to me, appeals greatly. 

I definitely would like to explore humiliation some more. I have a love / hate relationship with being made to dress in a provocative way while out in public. To touch and be touched in places where we might be discovered. But I would definitely like to be pushed to do much more of that.

I think what I am saying is there are more extremes of what we have done so far to be explored before I tackle new fantasies. But rest assured there will be more of those to think up too!

Photos from the mind circus 

30 Days of Submission - Days 14 /15 The Train Journey

first of all lets get day 14 over with, then we can move on to the more interesting day......
 
Does religion have any bearing on your decision to submit? If not, are you familiar with religious based submission and do you view it as similar to other types of submission or dissimilar? 

I am no expert on religion, whether related to submission or not. It is not that I haven't been brought up to believe in and respect God, but more that I do not conform to religion without question. I have only knelt in church because I have been following a group of people doing so; indeed I am not someone who needs to attend church to believe in anything. I value the moral values that religion brings with it, but feel that there are too many people out there twisting religion to meet the beliefs they have. I felt that getting married in church was important to me at the time, but then it was a tradition to do so and I did many things around that time to please my parents. 

I don't believe that i can be a religious submissive for another reason - it is not my husband that I am submissive to and therefore I am no 'good wife'. Yep that absolves me from this one as far as I can see.

Has your submission evolved over time? If so, how has it evolved for you and if not (or if you are just starting out) how might you see or imagine it evolving in the future?

It has evolved alright. i am almost a different person to the one i was in April. From the beginning of this i have embraced new experiences, but i wouldn't have believed that i would do some of the things i willingly do now. Humiliation and pain have probably been the areas where the greatest development has taken place. Until recently i didn't even know that i would be able to stand being spanked with the lead attached to my collar, or that i would love to have my nipples clamped. If someone had told me in March that by September i would be travelling on a train wearing a tight skirt, seamed stockings and heels to meet a man who would within the hour have me tied to a bed while he spanked me, i would have declared them mad.  

But yesterday i not only did that, i exposed my bare pussy on that train, allowed my lovely Sir to stroke me and bring me to orgasm (with his permission of course) and briefly sucked his cock (shortly after the ticket inspector had checked our tickets). 

There is much much more to record here on my dear blog, but i need a day or two to get my thoughts in order. So bear with me!

30 Days of Submission - Day 13 / Plans

Wednesday this week will be a special day; i will be spending it with Sir. This particular day of submission gives me the chance to combine answering the question and also saying a bit about some of the things that Wednesday might bring.

Is sexual availability, being available to your partner any time he or she wants, part of your submission? Why or why not? Are there limits to this? 

When we are together, sexual availability is everything. He is very sure about this, it is one of the few rules we have, it is part of the structure of those hours (or if we are lucky days). I dress 'appropriately' for him the whole time and am ready at all times to give my body to him in whatever way he wishes, when ever he wishes. This often includes sleeping in stockings and putting my fuck me shoes on when we wake up. It also includes changing what i am wearing (underwear particularly) more than once during a day.

That sexual availability doesn't just happen within the confines of the bedroom or even the house, but when we are out and about. In the woods, the countryside, by the sea, at an airport, on a train......

This Wednesday i have decided to let the train take the strain (this was an advertising slogan for travelling by train at one time). The journey to visit Sir can be a long one, i have to travel along one of the busiest, most notorious motorways for traffic problems, in  the UK. So to take the train feels like a real treat. If all goes well i may well travel that way more often. The journey will involve a change of trains not far from where sir lives, he will meet me at that station, and the fun will begin. i have a new little skirt, ready really for the autumn season at work, there will be seamed stockings and there will be heels. There are always heels! 

Don't get me wrong, i love to wear heels, i love that my legs look long and slim in them. i also love the feel of the stockings, i love the feel of wearing no panties above the stoking tops. It is just that i am tall, and i feel much too tall if the heels are high. i am getting more used to that feeling, but it is difficult to shake off. Also i have the kind of feet that crave comfort, high heels tend not to provide the same cosy feel for my feet that flat shoes do. But as far as Sir is concerned, a slut doesn't wear flat shoes.  

On the train, with sir, i will be required to be ready for him to observe me. i will need to open my legs to show him what i can offer him; he will want to see my stocking tops, to confirm my pussy is bare and freshly shaved. He will want to see me touch myself as we travel towards his home town on the train. Once we arrive at his house, i will immediately need to be ready.

i will need to be open to him, ready for him to use which ever of my holes he wishes. i am pretty sure i will have no problem being ready.

As for limits to all of this. Well there are some decency limits when out. Neither of us wishes to be arrested. i trust him though to keep us safe and vaguely legal. Also, if i feel particularly uncomfortable i am able to say so and pull back a little. That is not to say he doesn't continually push my limits, because he does. Of course as my Master that is one of his roles! As his submissive it is my role to be pushed in this way; if you don't expand your boundaries you will never know what you are missing.

30 Days of Submission - Day 10

Does any element of BDSM occur as a part of your submissive relationships? How do you feel about BDSM? Is it core to your submission, peripheral or non-existent (other than the submission part)?

Wikipedia tells me that BDSM is a portmanteau acronym (love that word) for Bondage / Discipline, Dominance / Submission, Sadism / Masochism

All of these elements are present to a greater or lesser degree, as i have pretty much described throughout this series of posts. Sir has the best bed for being tied to (in my humble opinion) and that happened from the start, we have since moved onto that lovely day in May when i was tied to a tree. I am also now often cuffed. But there is not always a need to be physically restrained, the restraints can be mentally applied - don't touch, keep your hands above your head, spread your legs and keep them like that. Sometimes emotional bonds can be just as effective. This is where the discipline comes in, because not keeping the hands away, not asking to touch or to take Sir's cock might lead to some kind of punishment. And as discussed in a comment on the last post (day 8 and 9) more punishment may yet be applied in the near future, which will mean there is more discipline. There is also the structure that i crave, which is something we are also discussing. Sir thinks that perhaps i need more discipline. Yes please i say!

 Dominance and submission? Well yes. Haven't i spoken of this enough? Finding someone to dominate me, allowing me to express my submission, has been the making of me as far as i can see. 

So Sadomasochism? Wikipedia (again) tells me that this is the receiving of pleasure through the infliction or reception of pain or humiliation. Who ever knew that pain could give you such pleasure? Well certainly not me who always avoided pain. Who knew that the more pain that was inflicted on your nipples, on your backside (to give just two examples) could arouse you in the way it does to me. As Sir says - it makes you so wet!

As for humiliation; well i know that i am turned on beyond anything by being made to wear clothes i consider a bit risque for a woman of my age, to be provocative to Sir in a public place and to appear to pick up a stranger. More of this excitement will happen in the week to come!

Plus as of this morning the corset fits - i predict that will lead to some fun along the entire BDSM spectrum, Can't wait!

30 Days of Submission - Day 6

What do you feel are the roots of your submission? Do you think it has something to do with childhood? Is it a relationship management tool as in the practice of domestic discipline? Is it a sexual thrill or something else?

i am the elder of 3 children (i have 2 younger brothers). i think if anything i was dominant of them, rather than submissive to them. The elder brother had a slight stutter when young and i am told i used to help him out by speaking on his behalf (i know that isn't a help, but it certainly seemed like it at the time). The younger brother is almost 6 years younger than me and i kind of mothered him. i loved taking care of him and taking him places. Even as i became a teenager i took him with me on days out (including when i first got together with hubby). There is no way i was particularly submissive at home. 

When hubby and i moved in together and then married, it wasn't any kind of discipline or submission that made me develop the desire to take care of my new hubby, i just liked to do it. i remember taking whole days to clean the house and cook food (oh how young and keen i was, oh what a home maker). It was only later that i realised that i had created a rod for my own back. That even if i wanted him to do things i couldn't unless i ranted and raved and even then, not always. i am the doer, the decision maker, even down to deciding what we will have for dinner. i often long for this not to be the case.

What i do know though is that i had to work hard on my confidence, particularly at work. People consider me to be able and confident. I believe though that i haven't got that way without working at it. Keeping up that act is hard work, as is doing everything for someone at home. i long yearned for a release, some way i could be someone different at least some of the time. 

The submission i have discovered with Sir has provided me with that. It gives me the opportunity to give the responsibility for decision making about certain things to someone else. That i find liberating. 

The other big thing for me is the extent to which submission is a sexual turn on. Being restrained, being told that i am a slut or a whore, kneeling, bending over to be spanked; the list feels almost endless. The humiliation part of TTWD, i think is one of the big part of my submission and is most definitely sexually liberating for me. To dress in a way that has been dictated, but which i would not usually entertain. To do things in a public place that would normally be carried out in privacy. Those things give me a massive sexual thrill, and because they turn me on, Sir finds them arousing and pleasing. This then adds to the pleasure of submission and so on.

Humiliation part two - the shopping trip

In part one of this adventure which can be found here i described how the slut in this story picked up a stranger from an airport coffee shop. The story continues below.

The guest house was the kind of place where people stay the night before their holiday particularly if they need to leave early in the morning for their flight and want to leave their car without paying airport car park charges. This couple were not the usual clientele, but were welcomed warmly none the less.

A couple of hours after check in, they emerged from the small shower cubicle together. Much had happened already. She had been collared and cuffed and made to kneel before him and take his big and very hard cock deep in her throat. She had welcomed his cock into her pussy, while she lay helpless, hands cuffed behind her back. Then he had taken her arse, something he knew she was particularly partial to. He was right! She had already lost count of how many times he had made her cum, but her pussy throbbed at the memory.

By the time they left the sanctity of their room to go in search of an indoor picnic at a local supermarket, she was wearing nipple clamps, her short dress and fuck me heels (higher than the ones she had picked him up in). Nothing else. She walked purposefully beside him. It was only a 10 minute walk away, and it is not unusual to see a woman wearing a short dress and heels on a hot summers evening. She was conscious the whole time though that she wore no underwear and that her nipples were clamped.

This man loves a bit of shopping it seams. He likes to wander back and forward while deciding what to eat and he loves a bargain. She pushed the trolley, found  a couple of reduced items which were greeted well and otherwise walked backwards and forwards either in front or behind him. Her nipples grew more and more painful but she found it a useful reminder of what had already happened, what would happen later and of course what she was.

At the back of the shop, she bent down to examine some wine (even though she was planning to stick to her no alcohol on a weeknight plan) and he took the opportunity to take a good look under her dress; to view her bare backside, her shaved pussy. To touch her.

Exciting the shop with their goodies they made their way though an alleyway towards the street where the guest house was situated. This was an excellent opportunity for Him to tell her to bend over and expose herself. Of course she did as she was told.

The walk back was painful. Her feet hurt; these shoes were not for walking. Plus she had insolently refused stockings for this trip as the ones he wanted her to wear would have looked ridiculous with the dress. Punishment is still to be given for this! In truth the stockings would have prevented the blister that formed on one of her feet. More painful still was that which emanated from her nipples. At the same time though she realised that this was a pain that also made her increasingly wet. A couple of times He tested this out by pinching her nipples and then touching her under her dress.

Once in the room he took full advantage of the feelings of humiliation, of arousal and of pain to complete his mission to make her submit to the needs of his once again hard and shiny cock. What is more she loved it.

Humiliation part one - the pick up

The journey was a hot one, a sunny day, the weather very warm. Her car, almost 8 years old was without air conditioning. It wasn't just the heat of the day though, the anticipation of what was to come added to the wetness which surrounded her lower body. The traffic was heavy, the road notorious for hold ups. The constant stopping and starting just added to the feelings of anticipation, after all, she was pretty eager to arrive.

The airport car park was busy, but finally she found a space on the 4th floor. Gathering her bag, and changing from flat sandals to heels she walked towards the lifts and the terminal building.

First stop was the ladies toilets. She needed to change from her sticky work clothes into something less heavy. Something short, something suitable for the occasion. Locking the cubicle door behind her she hung her bag from the hook on the wall and stripped off her skirt, top and bra (she was wearing no panties). She let all but the bra fall to the floor. Putting the bra inside the bag, she took out some stockings and a suspender belt bag and perched on the toilet. The stockings were smooth to the touch as she put them on. Running her hands up her legs, she shuddered slightly thinking about what was to come. Standing up in just stockings and shoes she set about attaching the suspender belt to the tops of the stockings. Lastly she took the little blue dress, and pulled it over her head, pulling it down to just below the tops of her stockings. She gathered up the work clothes and put them into her bag before emerging from the cubicle she headed towards the washbasins to apply her make up.

The airport had two terminals and she knew she was in the wrong one. She headed towards the monorail that connects them. She was excited, thrilled by what was about to happen, but at the same time nervous. Her dress was short, only just covering her bare newly shaved pussy, the air conditioning within the building made her feel cool for the first time in hours even though heat permeated from that area of her body.

The people around her were mainly casually dressed. Travel clothes, loose, cool. Some wore trousers, others shorts. No one appeared to be wearing heels, stockings. She wondered if anyone would look at her and notice. But actually no one appeared to. 

Within minutes she emerged from the train, along with a throng  of holiday makers with their heavy suitcases and strolled along the moving walkway towards her destiny. She reached a junction and rather than walk towards the check in desks as the people with suitcases did she took the route towards the arrivals hall.

This area was quieter than the monorail or the departure area and contained a number of coffee shops and other retail outlook. Ahead was a set of stairs, she climbed them slowly, but purposefully, mindful that a workman in a fluorescent jacket was standing within view and that there was a good chance he might be able to see up her short dress.

The coffee shop seating area was empty except for one man who was seated at the back by the wall. He glanced up over his reading glasses as she walked towards the counter and their eyes met. He was a smart looking traveller; wearing a light brown linen suit and a patterned silk shirt. This looked like an opportunity.

She bought a bottle of sparkling water from the counter, then taking the bottle and a glass walked to an adjacent seating area and sat down on the padded black seat. Having poured the water, she took a sip and looked across. He was looking at her. She looked down at her legs and pulled her dress up slightly so he could see her stocking tops and opened her legs a little, leaving him with no doubt what kind of a girl she was and what he could expect from her.

The minutes passed, she observed a group of airport police, complete with guns and a dog. Thinking she had better be less obvious. She swapped chairs thinking that this would give him a better view, without any chance of the police noticing but then found that the chairs in front of her prevented this. She also noticed that she was in full view of what seemed to be a staff room; she moved back. She didn't want to expose herself to them while hiding herself from her target.

She finished her drink, gathered her belongings and headed back down the stairs. Glancing behind she was pleased to see he was behind her. Back through the airport, a  short stop in the book shop, he was behind her all the way. Just before the monorail she stopped and he stopped right behind her. She asked him if he was following her and he smiled a lovely smile and agreed he was. He offered her a small cloth bag which he said she had left behind. Actually she hadn't but looking inside and seeing an array of adult toys she took the bag and agreed that indeed she had left it in the cafe.

Standing waiting for the train she felt a hand touching her leg, it travelled up her stocking top and briefly touched her bare bottom. She shivered with excitement enjoying the touch of his hand, before remembering that this was crowded place and that she didn't know this man and moving forward slightly. The train arrived and she stood facing the exit door. She could feel him standing close, his hands lifting her dress. Moisture erupted from her pussy as a cool breeze swept across her backside. She shook him off before edging back towards him for more. She wanted and needed this man and he seemed to want her,

She walked towards the lift to the car park and he followed. Inside the lift they were alone, they faced each other. Now he took her in his arms, kissed her and put his hands openly up her dress and felt her hot wet pussy. He asked her what she was at the airport for. She told him truthfully that she was there to find a man and he was the one. He told her he was a traveller and that he had been in a remote place where sexy women were far and few between. She observed his small rucksack and thought this unlikely.

They got into the front seats of the car, she in the driver seat, since this was her car and he again touched what would very soon become rightfully his. She was already close to the edge, could easily have cum there and then. But he took his hand away and instead undid the zip on his trousers. It was obvious what he wanted and she was happy to oblige.

In the middle of the 4th floor of the car park she leaned down and took his large, hard, smooth cock in her mouth.

Wet Run

One of the things that strikes me in my relationship with Sir is the extent to which he wants to know and to control what i am going to wear for him. We have now agreed the wardrobe for our next meeting and yesterday morning (while i worked from home!) we had a bit of a dry (or maybe wet, since i soon was) run.

Standing in front of my bedroom mirror in shortish dress that adequately covered my stockings and some very nice silver heels (i never realised when i bought those shoes how hard it would be to find clothes that would match them), i lifted my dress for him. He couldn't see this of course, he was over a hundred miles away and we don't do that webcam thing (not my cup of tea), rather we use the old fashioned phone. i described what could be seen if i bent over. We talked though meeting as if strangers in a coffee shop, me dropping something and bending over, my sitting opposite him and how much he might see if he looked under the table at my open legs. We talked about the possibility of walking around a supermarket together while my nipples were clamped. These discussions and writing about it now have an amazing effect on me. I reported that i was wet and sir as usual allowed me to touch myself and to orgasm for him.

Given a chance i would always prefer to be with Sir in person, giving myself to him. But when that can't happen online chats and definitely phone chats are a useful. They help remind me of who and what i am. They help me remember that i am his slut (he particularly likes me to tell him i am his slut, his whore as i cum) and they help set  me up for whatever else i am going to do.

I worked till just after lunch time (not that i actually ate lunch at lunch time) then i prepared a picnic for my brother, his girlfriend, hubby and i and we headed off to the races for an evening meeting. Wearing the knickers i had been wearing all day (different dress, no stockings) i was reminded frequently of what had happened during the morning and the discussions we had had. At the racecourse we sat on a blanket on the ground between races. With the start of the race though i got up, jumped about a bit to encourage my horse on (you have to embrace these opportunities for a bit of excitement). This whole process of sitting, standing and realising where your underwear is definitely serves as a reminder (Sir will love this bit),about what you were doing in them earlier.

We had a great time, i choose  my horses on the basis of their name, or if i have heard of the jockey and was unsuccessful this time. Hubby who applies some kind of secret knowledge to his decision making had a few good wins. Trouble is he tends to get a bit carried away and bets away his winnings given half a chance, on this occasion though i extracted a wad of cash which he can have back tomorrow. While there is no profit, the evening cost us the price of the admission, so that seems like a reasonable result.

There was a concert afterwards. Tom Jones still has a great voice and performed well. But he spent more time on music from his latest album rather than classic stuff, it was crowded, we couldn't get close enough to see properly and my back was aching (too much sitting then standing and jumping). Shortly before the end, feeling peckish (just the picnic all day) we headed off to a very nice Chinese restaurant and had a simple, reasonably light but very very nice meal before heading home.

My assessment of the day? Lovely in every way! 

Picture: Woman standing in front of a mirror, Christopher Wilhelm Eckersberg (1783-1853)

Planning

With a month between meetings, we have little choice but to first reflect on what has been and then plan. What we had last month was really special, two whole nights together. Loads of experiences mixed together; collared, cuffed, kneeling, sucking, fucking and being fucked, dressing up, dressing down, sleeping in stockings, being humiliated, cumming lots and lots and lots.

Loads to talk about, to reflect on and to do again in the future!

We have had to wait mainly because it really is summer. For someone like me, involved in this kind of relationship, around these parts, August is particularly difficult. There are practically no work meetings at all, let alone any kind of opportunity for an out of town trip. Plus loads of people are on holiday, so if i could get away from home, i couldn't get away from work as someone actually has to turn up at work. Now i have no school age child, i no longer take my holidays when school is out. Therefore it is only my capacity for a good story and the fact my family can take care of themselves that allows even one meeting with Sir, over night i might add, during the month of August.

Now Sir knows about, and reads, this blog, i have to accept that he will pick up on the things i say.  So when i tell the world that i am turned on by humiliation, he takes what he already knows (finding me very turned on by being made to wear slutty clothing along the seafront near his house), and adds to it what he reads here and comes up with some VERY humiliating ideas.

We are booked into a small guest house. At least this time we will both stay all night. I will be on my guard to ensure that either a) i take nothing embarrassing with me (which is unlikely) or b) i make sure anything that may cause embarrassment are in my bag when i leave. We are planning a scene in a very public place, where i am going to approach him and pick him up as if he were a stranger. This will involve me going to a meeting at work and then driving for an hour and changing for Sir in a public toilet. Then approaching him and getting him back to the B&B). The whole thing is both scary and very exciting.

This week, with my birthday, i have been preoccupied. However, my submission; my obligation to Sir has remained with me. I have made sure that on the two most important family days: my birthday and my night out with family, i have worn the underwear that Sir bought me. Whatever i have done, wherever i have been i have remembered that i am HIS. I just need to get through the next 12 days until i am actually able to show Sir that i am still his. 

Embracing humiliation

Over the last 4 months, since meeting Sir, first online and on the phone and then in real life i have learnt to face the fact that i am actually turned on by feelings of humiliation. From the first time that Sir called me a whore and a slut on the phone, i have felt both disgusted and thrilled. Disgusted because it is ingrained within me that those terms are for people who are 'not like me', people who are cheap, who sleep around who show off their bodies in a demeaning way. Mind you i have always held a view that people can do as they wish, and don't believe i have actually ever described anyone as a slut anytime since i was at school, if then. Well who would know that actually i love to be called a slut myself, or indeed put myself in a position where i encouraged someone to call me such a name.

Last time i was with Sir, we went out with me, a middle aged woman (of course with him a middle aged man) dressed in what could only be described as provocative and 'sluttish clothing, The events of that evening led to me be more turned on than i probably have ever been before. Sir called me 'wanton' that night.

This week in the absence of any opportunity to see Sir for another couple of weeks, i have done what Sir likes and gone without knickers for 4 days out of 5. This might be something of a record, since i have worn trousers only one working day. i have felt exposed, i have thought the unlikely might happen and any moment i would trip over in the middle of the office and expose myself. Travelling on the escalator within a local department store i worried people would be able to see up my skirt, of course utter rubbish. I have embraced this whole process though, because it brings me back to who i am, who i want to be and what i want to be.

Today, under Sir's instruction i ventured out at lunchtime with no knickers and a butt plug where a butt plug goes. This was the ultimate in humiliation. No knickers and butt plug, the fear that it would fall out in the middle of town. Texting Sir, Him calling me a Slut (even if we missed chatting as i didn't hear his text come through was exhilarating. Never mind that i had to go to the supermarket toilet and remove the plug because there was a definite danger of it falling out in the middle of the fruit and veg aisle! I was turned on and remained on all afternoon.

All of this is setting Sir's creative juices flowing and he has ideas for some humiliating events in the future. i find this scary, it makes me anxious. Trouble is it also excites me. He has me eating out of the palm of his hand. i just can't help myself since there is no doubt i am his sub and he is one hell of a Master!

Humiliation

There are one or two blog posts around today covering humiliation as a topic. Aisha has a wonderful poem in her post on the subject and sin has been talking about things that are humiliating but within the limits of what  is ok and those that were outside those limits but are now not.

One of the things i learn about myself is that the limits i thought i had, the things i thought humiliating now aren't.

Many people hate being called a whore or a slut. I also hate these terms when used by people other than Sir and perhaps even by Sir when used out of context. But when he knows i am not wearing underwear and he calls me a slut, i love it. When we talk about my love of anal sex and he calls me a whore i love that too.

On our very first date, on that first night. i dressed in a short skirt, which only just covered my stockings and suspenders. i wore black heeled shoes that i could barely walk in and i walked into a bar and ordered a drink. i sat at a table and waited until Sir who i had barely met in person came into the bar and asked to join me. He had us move to another table with lower chairs where he could observe and touch me more easily and then we tried to engage in normal 'we've just met and are just having a chat' conversation while he ran his hand up my stocking top in pretty much full view of the bar.

This was humiliating, sir told me later that i was a slut for doing it, but i loved it. The whole time experiencing a combination of blind panic and amazing exhilaration.

My favourite thing about my journey into this new lifestyle is the way in which i am discovering so much more about me. It is a journey that i never expected but which i am just loving!